The night sky is not black. It is a rich canopy of midnight blue that falls on the end of the day. The light from the apartments is golden. The pool is a brighter shade of blue. It is a cool seventy degrees outside and falling. The day was good, it ends well. I am physically tired, my brain is in neutral. I am not far from the sweet embrace of sleep. Today I felt very alive. It is a good feeling. With the passage of each day I feel the burdens of the previous time slip away. Five days into the second half of the year and I feel good. I feel alive. This is the view from my balcony tonight. I just thought that I would share it with you.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Friday, July 4, 2008
And Another Day Ends
Tamales and a Corona and the company of friends ends the day. Fireworks are crackling in the night. A police helicopter sweeps back and forth overhead. Distant sirens play their symphonies. The windows are open and the laughter and conversation of the streets rises and falls. Life is good. Goodnight. Dream well.
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The Chronicle Of The Day
The Chronicle Of The Day
I woke, as I mentioned earlier, to the sound of a solo piano, either in real life, or from a dream. It could have been real life, since it was the early hours of the morning and the windows to my bedroom were wide open. I didn’t hear a song, at least not one that I recognized, but I did hear a several bars. It also could have been from a dream. The more I think about it though, the more I suspect it actually was piano music – perhaps a stereo or a radio alarm turned to a classical station.
I took a walk in the hour before day, as the eastern sky was turning gray, under the low foggy clouds that are typical here in the mornings. A yellow cat followed me down Will Rogers Drive, never approaching close enough to be petted, but always close enough to be right behind me.
I got back home and fired up the computer to play on line for the morning, fired up the stereo for a little music, and fired up the coffee pot for some morning solace. My brain was not really engaged for the first hour or so, LOL, but that made chat just that more amusing. It was a good morning chat, filled with people I like, so that was frosting on the morning cake.
About midway through the morning, one of the roommates mentioned sushi, so my brain fixated on salmon sashimi. That is what prompted the posting of the picture in the previous entry. If you have never had salmon sashimi, there are various kinds. Some are just pure salmon. Others are marinated in a variety of mixtures. The best is marinated in a light teriyaki and saki sauce. If down right it is a wonderfully delicate and rich taste and it melts on the tongue like ambrosia.
The morning conversation that sparked that particular desire in me was a mixture of two desires – I imagined a chilled piece of salmon sashimi laying on a woman’s abdomen just behind the navel. Sushi is perhaps one of the most sensual foods, IMO, in part because it is small portions and delicate flavors. So lunch was a stop at Sushi Boat, for salmon sashimi, alas not off the abdomen of a beautiful woman, but I am sure that thought contributed to a smile as I enjoyed lunch.
From there, I caught the light rail at the Winchester station and went downtown for the San Jose Americas Festival, specifically to see San Jose Taiko play. It was worth the trip – I love Taiko drumming – it is raw acoustic power, reaches inside of you and thrills you at the pit of the stomach, and it is also a visual spectacle. That drumming, pure and powerful, also plays a large part in the music Bear McCreary composes for Battlestar Galactica on the Sci Fi Channel.
I wandered the festival for a while, had a pair of cold beers, and then caught the train back home in the late afternoon. I had deliberately left my camera behind today. I love photography, it is one of my principal hobbies, but sometimes I like to just leave the camera behind. I tend to look at things with a different eye constantly casting about for that combination of light, shadow, position, and object that make for a good photograph. Sometimes, I just like to leave the camera behind and enjoy what I am enjoying. I may make another trip down the festival tomorrow or Sunday and take the camera.
I had considered staying downtown for the fireworks display, but getting out of downtown, even on the light rail, after the festival is always a zoo. For the first hour or so after the festival ends there are literally tens of thousands of people swarming out. Each train is packed standing room only and because of that, the fifteen minute right to the Winchester station can take upwards of an hour, not counting time spent waiting to get on the train.
Crowds sometimes can get to me, so I am watchful of my mood. Getting in and out early can save me some unnecessary anxiety. Today was good, but I could feel the edge of the crowd tickling at my subconscious, so I decided it was best to get out. On the train home I ran into some friends of mine who live in Campbell, so after we got to the Winchester station we went to a coffee shop in downtown Campbell and caught up.
I drifted home to check on The Nephew, who is currently laid up with a bad sinus infection and the accompanying headache. I fixed a light dinner, ramen noodles and shrimp and pepper skewers. Then, I popped back out to stop by O’Connor Hospital and visit a friend who is in for a couple of days for surgery. She is doing well and should be out tomorrow. She had surgery to repair a torn ACL in her shoulder. Definitely not fun.
Then, once again, I drifted home. I love these three day weekends – Friday always feels like a “free day” to me that I can spend relaxing and unwinding, and that allows me to enjoy Saturdays as truly relaxing days, and then have Sunday’s as a day of rest and small errands getting ready for the week to come – grocery shopping, laundry, etc.
So, the California sun is just starting to set, the night coolness is getting ready to slide over us, and I am home. I heard on the news that drunk driving arrests are up twenty percent this weekend, so I most likely will stay home for the evening. My neighbor Rose is hosting a small gathering tonight, some friends, for board games and movies, so I might swing over there later in the night for the company and conversation, or I may elect to stay home, to spend the evening in the quiet comfort of my own space, reading and writing.
I have a couple of pieces that I want to work on, so I might do that tonight. They are the gems of stories or poetry and I have been working them around and playing with them and polishing them like small stones. Perhaps I shall polish them a little more tonight and see what comes of them.
First Thought of the Morning
I thought I would catch the first thought of the morning, before it escapes from me into the dawn. I woke up this morning either to the sound of a piano or from a dream of the sound of a piano.
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Thursday, July 3, 2008
29 Reasons To Dance
I woke this morning from a dream and the last thing I remember from the dream is someone (I do not know who) asking me to list for them 29 reasons to dance. It was almost like I was being given a homework assignment. So, if the day presents the opportunity I am going to try and list 29 reasons to dance. Sent via BlackBerry by AT
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
The Last Entry Of The Night
It is 9:30 or so. I've got the window wide open and the fan running. In summer, I love to sleep with the white noise of a fan. It it just enough to take the edge off the sounds of the street outside. I live in a second floor apartment so I sleep with the window open and no particular fear of ninjas. I am moments from curling up with my book. It is still and peaceful. The temperature is falling to cool.
I wonder at my friends, where ever they are, wonder what is the last things that pass through there minds as they fall asleep. Do they think at the end of the day that it was "well done"? Do they fret about the morrow? Is their bedroom simply the place they sleep? Or a sacred sanctuary from the world? Do they curl gently against a lover? Do they sprawl wantonly alone? Do they carefully slip in and never cross and invisible line of demarcation, never so alone as when together? Who listens to music? Who watches the television? Who breathes the silence?
As for me, comfortably alone, the fan humming, a book, a tiffany lamp, a journal, and the constant companions of my life, my mind and my imagination. Waiting to dim the light, waiting to find a Muse, to lure me across the veil, to move silently through the dreaming door, to stand at the threshhold of a green and pleasant land. Tonight then, or tomorrow, as you curl up to sleep, think, fleetingly, of me. Look for me in the country of dreams, where Crow waits her wandering son. Goodnight my friend. Dream well. Sent via BlackBerry by AT
Being Wednesday
Last night I dreamt very ordinary dreams. There was no particular narrative structure but there was a simple theme that ran through the dreams. The theme was simply, at various points and times, being in the company of my friends. A dozen or so made simple appearances in the dreams doing ordinary things. I think that is where friendship is at its best, in the simple and ordinary things. A simple richness that lies in the just BEING of friendship. Just simply being.
Work was a mostly quiet day, one issue arose, but it was beyond my ability to influence, so I had the rather unique (work wise) position of just being able to sit back and watch it unfold. I did wish I could do something to influence it, but I was willing to accept that I couldn't, and to be wise enough to realize that I shouldn't.
I had lunch with one of my friends at a place called the Grand Buffet in Sunnyvale, off Lawrence Expressway, near Central Expressway. It is a good Indian buffet. I had a potato curry, chicken masala, bismati rice, fresh bread, and a creamy onion and cucumber yogurt. I am particularly fond of thier potato curry - a nice mix of vegetables in a spicy brown curry.
I got a new laptop at work so a good portion of the day was spent getting data moved over and applications installed and configuring it. That will probably occupy a good portion of tomorrow as well, since I figure that Thursday in the office is going to be very, very quiet. Other than the one issue, my phone never rang today and I only received a handful of email, mostly from people in my own teams.
It is the second day of the second half of the year - and for some strange reason July 1st seems to have had a significant effect on me. It seems like I am getting a second chance at making something valuable out of 2008. I am considering it a gift and cherishing it accordingly.
After work, I had dinner with my nephew and my friend T.S. at Holdens on Saratoga tonight. I had the Joe's Special - scrambled eggs, fresh spinach, fresh mushrooms, spicy ground beef, topped with sour cream. They make an excellent Joe's Special at Holdens. It was a great little "breakfast for dinner".
My friend T.S. is flying out to Denver tomorrow to go visit his sister in Colorado for the weekend, coming back on Monday, so we wished him safe voyaging. He has never been to the midwest before, sowe were teasing him about the drive from Denver to Ft. Collins and how it was going to be, well, flat. Maybe with a few ups and downs.
The 4th of July is coming soon. Right now, I am planning to go down to the big festival in San Jose on Friday (San Jose Americas Festival). It is the usual festival fare - vendors, food, drinks, music, topped off with a fireworks display at the end of the evening. I am planning on going down in the after, taking the Light Rail from the Winchester station in Campbell.
At 3:00 PM San Jose Taiko is going to play and I love the primal power of Taiko drumming. I am planning on staying for the fireworks, but, may change my mind. The festival will draw tens of thousands of people, which means it has the possibility to become a total zoo.
I have a thing about crowds. If I am in the right mood, I can do them. If I am in the wrong mood, then the best and quickest thing I can do is...get out. So, if the crowd starts to get to me, I may watch San Jose Taiko, leave, and then circle back to catch the fireworks. We really don't need to go downtown to see fireworks- there will be plenty of them all around us - including a small display in Cupertino, at De Anza College and another in Santa Clara, at Central Park.
We have many Mexican and Chinese neighbors and both cultures are well known for their prolific firewords displays, so there will be some impromptu back yard stuff all around us that will rival any professional displays. I am definitely looking forward to the weekend.
One of things I will be specifically looking forward to is the opportunity to spend quiet, simple, time with my friends, just...being. Just...being.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Happy Half Year
Happy Half Year
I was pulling into the parking lot at work today and it dawned on me the 2008 was halfway over. Six months gone, six months to go. I took a deep breath and sat there in the parking lot, watching jets coming up out of San Jose International and vanishing into the belly of the bluish gray clouds that hung overhead. I usually wonder where they are going and where the people in them are going and who, if anyone, is looking down at me. We are close enough to the airport that if the flight path is right, you could probably look down and see my car in the parking lot, if you knew exactly where to look. There is something cool about that.
With the particulars of the journey I made through the first half of this year, I decided to use my newly invented Happy Half Year holiday to try and refocus. What is behind me is now behind me, what is in front of me is still in front of me. Through choice and action I can shape some of what is to come. What is behind is behind.
So, at work, I tried to focus on what was.
"Empty that which is full. Fill that which is empty."
I spent some time talking in depth with one of my analysts.
I exercised patience in dealing with a situation that was vexing me.
I tempered my language and my demeanor in a critical conversation.
I enjoyed a short lunch with my friend Don.
I enjoyed the drive home, listening to the Corrs.
I received an email from a dear friend of mine and it was good to hear their voice in words. I savored it.
I had dinner with my nephew and enjoyed it.
I spent some time in IM with another dear friend and enjoyed it.
I chatted briefly online and enjoyed it.
I received an email from my sister and enjoyed it.
I stood on the balcony and watched the falling sun on a cool California evening.
Soon, I will curl up and read a good book.
Then, hopefully, I will sleep deeply and dream wisely.
So, for all of you my friends, Happy Half Year, I hope the first half was good for you and I hope the second half contains at least one spectacular thing that will make you remember 2008 with a smile on your lips in the years to come.
Dreams of Ice
Last night I dreamt of ice
I tossed and turned in my sleep
Wrapped in images of crystalline chill
Of cold bitter and deep
I walked upon fields of ice
I trembled in an icy sleep
I ran across glittering fields
I drank the cold and the deep
Last night I dreamt of ice
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