The Dream of the Blue Light
Last night as I called it the end of the day I had climbed into bed and read for a while - my usual habit. I like to end the day by reading something - it helps me to unwind and relax. My brain was spinning though - nothing particular, just that general feeling you get when your brain is moving things around trying to figure out where they fit.
I turned off the reading light and curled up under the covers. I had learned that when the brain won't quite shut off rather than try and fight it the best approach is to just let it spin. Sometimes it will spin itself out, find something and settle down.
About 11:00 Pacific Time, curled up, eyes closed, mind spinning it suddenly felt as if my thoughts were all surrounded by a soft, very faint, blue light - a very pale shade of blue. It was such a vivid sensation that I opened my eyes and looked around the room to see if there was a blue light source (perhaps something off the street outside). I was not dreaming, I was not even asleep, but it was as if my thoughts were encased in a blue light.
I don't think that peaceful is right word to describe the sensation that accompanied the light - it was more a sense of stillness. As if all of the thoughts spinning in my mind were encased in some sort of contextual stillness. That is the best way I can think of to describe the feeling. It was not that everything made sense, but rather that all of the elements that did not make sense were, for a few minutes, placed in a much larger context. As individual thoughts they had no more or less sense then they did a few minutes before - more of a reassurance that they would make sense.
I would not call it a spiritual experience - it was just the mental image of a soft blue light encasing the spinning thoughts in my mind.
It was pretty cool. It lasted about five minutes, maybe a little longer and then gradually faded. I did not fall right to sleep - I returned to the land of spinning thoughts and free associating images. But, for a few minutes, there had been a stillness. I refer to it as the dream of the blue light not because it was a dream, but because it had that dream like sensation, even though I was wide awake.
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