So, after I recovered from lying on the floor in the darkness in the fetal position, I climbed into bed and took a nap. After the nap, a shower, dinner, and relaxation. Ever have one of those days where the best you can do at the end of the day is curl up in the fetal position on the floor? Uh, me neither.
Well, okay, sometimes. All of the above is true - except for the fetal position part. It was one of those days where every action seems to be a rather pointless struggle and at the end of the day all I could do was take a nap, hit the reboot button, and hope to salvage something from the evening. Fortunately, it worked.
So, refueled with sleep, shower and dinner I settled in and watched a movie with the nephew (the second half of the TV special- the Scott Free remake of Andromeda Strain). Now, I am sitting here in the living room with the patio doors open, watching the sky turn to a darker shade of blue, feeling the cool breeze blowing through.
One of the interesting things about us, as people, I think is our ability to recover, to recuperate, to bounce back and start again. Tomorrow will be another challenging day at work but I am braced and ready for the challenge.
I've got assorted thoughts swirling around, so rather then write about them extensively, I think I will just lay the bare bones of them out.
-When in times of trouble or turmoil the best compass we possess is that still small voice that resides inside of us. We can lose it sometimes in the signal to noise ratio of modern life, but if we stop, if we find a place of stillness and listen, it is still there.
-Perspective gets us through so many things. I am in a high stress work cycle right now, exhausting and brutal, but nothing...absolutely nothing...in comparison to what other people I know are going through right now and so minor compared to other stressful times I have been through.
-It helps to count your blessings. Literally. Sit down and write them out - all of the good things you have, whatever they are. All of the things that bring you happiness, all of the things that bring you meaning. You will find, inevitably, that the list of good things far outnumbers the list of bad things. The bad things might seem more significant, but they aren't. It just seems that way.
So, the still small voice inside of me is telling me to keep my perspective and count my blessings, which I did over dinner with a friend of mine and you know what? At the end of an exhausting day, where it seemed the flying monkeys were winning, after a nap and a shower and dinner with a friend - life is pretty damn good.
I highly recommend that simple act - a nice dinner with a good friend, someone who doesn't want anything from you, someone who doesn't expect anything from you, someone who is just...your friend.
Something's getting in the way.
Something's just about to break.
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
As I burn another page,
As I look the other way.
I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
So tell me how it should be.
Desperate, I will crawl
Waiting for so long
No love, there is no love.
Die for anyone
What have I become?
"The Diary Of Jane" - Breaking Benjamin
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