Teaching and Learning

I spent the day in the twin pursuits of teaching and learning. The
twin pillars of wisdom and life. I very much enjoyed the day. The
weather was spectacular and the entire pace of the day was stately.

I talked over the triple dream of last night and have come to the
conclusion that it to was a dream of identity, a fairly consistent
dream theme for me this year.

I have nothing major planned tomorrow, but I will definitely slip out
at some place in the day to enjoy the sun if the weather permits. I am
inclined toward catching a movie tomorrow, but I haven't decided which
yet.

For now, at the end of a very good day, I an going to curl up with my
Douglas Preston book and read myself to sleep. Tomorrow I am going to
sleep in and start the day in ultra lazy mode.

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She never burned for me...

"She never burned for me. No matter how many times I set myself on
fire for her, she never burned for me." Harvey Keitel, "Life on Mars"

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Three Dreams of Maine

I had a strange set of dreams last night.

Through the night, three times in succession, spread apart by several
hours, I dreamt I was trying to make travel arrangements to get to
Portland, Maine on short notice to attend a wedding.

I have no idea whose wedding it was supposed to be.

It was not a frantic sense of trying to make the travel arrangements
but a sense of being deeply engrossed in the task.

I didn't wake from the same dream each time, but rather from different
dreams of the same subject.

That was a different dreamscape - I don't recall having ever done that
before.

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Simple Potato Sausage Casserole

Simple Potato Sausage Casserole

1 Small onion sliced fine
1 small green pepper sliced fine
8 red potatoes, scrubbed and sliced fine
4 sweet Italian sausages jsliced fine
Rub butter to grease a 1.5 quart casserole dish
Layer in potato, onions, peppers
Salt and pepper to taste
Layer on sausage
Add a quarter cup water
Bake covered at 350 for one hour
Uncover and bake an additional 30 min
Serve

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The Vast Indifference of Heaven

The Real and the Unreal

The experience of life is specific and local.

That is a strange thing to try and wrap your brain around in this quantum universe of ours.

We occupy a very specific location in space/time called "now".

Now is the only thing that is real. All the rest of it is unreal.

The past is done.

The future is an undifferentiated sea of potential.

The choices we make in specific and local space/time are largely independent of both the past and the future.

As we flow into the future we choose specific potentials from the sea of space/time.

Frightening.

Liberating.

What specific potentials are your choosing from the sea of space/time?

I choose moments I enjoy.

I choose moments of happiness.

There is a beautiful California sun shining out there today. I chose it.

Pretty cool huh?

In this moment, right now, what choice are you making?

Is it the choice you want to make?

If it is not, why are you not making the different choice?

"All life folds back
Into the sea
We contemplate eternity
Beneath the vast indifference of heaven..."

-Warren Zevon, "The Vast Indifference of Heaven"

The Pangrac Effect

Thursday

I was trying to think of something significant to write today, but I couldn't really think of anything. It is just a very average and ordinary day here in San Jose. work has been relatively sane.

I've spent most of the last couple of days in meetings. The evenings have been relatively quiet and enjoyable. (I spent most of yesterday evening catching up on "24" episodes I had on DVR, so I can say I am up to speed on the latest adventures of Jack Bauer!)

It has just been a nice and quick week. The month of January is almost over and all in all it's been a good month. I only had one day of stress.

We had a customer report a data problem at work (an expected value was not appearing). I documented it and relayed it to the technical team. I asked for a specific fix (to the problem itself) and a wider investigation into root cause.

We meet daily and discuss technical challenges as they arise. In the daily discussion I was overruled by technical management and my functional management. They agreed to fix the specific problem but felt that the "science project" of investigating the root cause was too broad in scope.

I disagreed because of what I call the Pangrac Effect. The Pangrac Effect is named after a former analyst I worked with. He found a small data problem and brought it to my attention. I took a look at it, thought it was just a fluke, fixed the specific problem and moved on. A few weeks later, he ran into another one. I fixed it.

Then, it arose on the third time and I peeled back the onion - and it got really, really ugly. Underlying systemic data corruption. Ongoing for several months. Effecting tens of thousands of records. Took scores of hours to fix.

I learned the lesson. Treat every reported data anomoly as if it was the tip of an iceberg. The Pangrac Effect.

So, in the meeting, I registered my objections and was overruled by functional and technical management. I was frustrated and stressed out, so to deal with it I reviewed my actions. I had done everything I needed to do. The assignment of other resources (beyond my team) is beyond me. I objected to the decisions and gave my business reasons. I let the frustration go.

Then, today...guess what rose up and took a big bite? Yep, the Pangrac Effect. The "science project" is now underway.

I've been busy through January, but more importantly, I have been successful (in my assessment) at focusing into the moment I am in. Pulling things in. Staying local and specific. Not letting things outside of that locality to distract me or to pull me out of the moment. Far from perfect, but better than last year.

I don't have anything planned tonight. I am thinking about making a potato sausage casserole tonight and spending a quiet evening at home. I am planning on going out and seeing "The Wrestler" tomorrow at a matinee and then probably getting some lunch at one of the restaurants in Santana Row. I've got a couple of options there.

I've nearly finished Michael Fick's "One Bullet Away" (The autobiography of a Marine officer and his experiences in Afghanistan and Iraq. He was the officer in charge of the Marines whose story is told in "Generation Kill", an excellent book and an excellent HBO series now on DVD - I highly recommend both or either.) I finished Michael Crichton's "Next", which it turns out I had already read some years ago - I realized that about half way through the book, but I just keep going. I started reading Douglas Preston's "Blasphemy".

So, tonight is shaping up to be a nice home cooked meal and another quiet evening watching a movie on DVD or reading and writing.

Thirty Six Degrees and Cold

Thirty six degrees and cold
This morning when I woke
I dressed in gray slacks
And a white shirt
And a gray sweater with
Thin red horizontal stripes
Across the chest
My concession to the cold
Was wearing my warm wool socks
Inside my black Rockports
I drove to work
Stopped for a cup of coffee
Listened to KQED and then
Beethoven on my iPhone
I parked in the time before dawn
When the eastern sky was
Several shades of blue with
Hints of red and orange
At the horizon line
The air was crisp in my senses
And as I walked from the car
To the office
Under a row of winter trees
I loved the feel of
My breath
Rising and falling in my chest
Filling me with a sense of
Thirty six degrees and cold

The Art of Greg Martin

I was wandering the internet tonight, clicking the "Next Blog" button at the top of the page and I wandered, eventually, on this site - The Gallery of Greg Martin.  There are some astounding images there, I spent quite a bit of time just looking at them.  I think that is one of the things I love about the internet - the potential it holds to take you someplace wonderful with the click of a link.

Remembered Conversations

Something in the evening
Led me through memory to
Remembered conversations
Exchanged among friends
Casually, incidentally, easily
Carefully and carelessly woven
Thoughts, hopes, dreams
Loves, losses, gifts
A tapestry of all the colors
Of lives in conversations

Dangerous and Beautiful

Looks like a wicked ice storm bearing down on the upper south. Good luck to anyone in it’s path! Fortunately, in California, the only ice we know is in our frosty margaritas. (Incidentally, if you have never seen “The Ice Storm”, directed by Ang Lee, it is an excellent movie.)