Sunday, July 27, 2014

Meditations After A Hot Evening

We had a hot day here in this part of California yesterday and the heat carried into the night.  I got, maybe, four or five hours of sleep, well after midnight.  Up until then, I tossed and turned in the heat, even with the windows open and the fans running. It is the still hour before dawn right now and the apartment has finally cooled down to about seventy-two degrees.  I don't think today is supposed to be as hot as yesterday was, so I am hoping for a better night.

I did something I haven't done last evening - I spent three or four hours writing. I enjoy writing but I simply haven't done enough of it in the last couple of months, perhaps in the last couple of years, so last night had its own pleasures, the pleasures of creation. Now, today, I will re-read what I wrote last night and I might find that it is not particularly good, but that really doesn't matter - what matters is I definitely felt the creative juices flowing, all as the result of an incidental bit of inspiration that happened during the day.  I need to move myself into a point where I am in closer touch with my muse.

Today should be a good day - at this time, here in the early morning, it is a wide open day.  I am going to meet the guys for breakfast at eight, then, well, the day is open and I may find something to do.  I've been wanting to get over to the coast for lunch for the last couple of days, but I have balanced that with the need to just relax and do nothing.

Though I miss going to Comic Con, I am glad I made the decision to keep this vacation simple and close to home. I needed the time in solitude, I learned from it, I learned some things about myself and had some interesting dreams.

Two nights in a row I dream about shapes and patterns - specifically about layering those shapes and patterns. I think I have had an awareness for a while that I am not committing fully to the things I am doing as I go through my days.  I am doing things, and I am doing things I enjoy, but I am simply not fully loosing myself in the moment.  That is what I am going to work on for the next couple of months I think - continuing the process of focusing, of being in the moment, and of investing myself in the things that I am doing.

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