So, yesterday I asked my subconscious for a dream with a stronger narrative thread - and naturally, my subconscious replied. It was a beautiful night last night and I fell asleep with all the windows wide open and the ceiling fan slowly turning. Then, as some point in the deep, dark silence of the night I dreamed of a mad king.
In the dream, the Mad King was my enemy, yet he could not move openly against me (or against his other enemies), so instead, he devised a series of rigged trials, the purpose of which was to kill his enemies. The language of the trials was always carefully neutral, indeed, it even made the king sound like he was benevolent - but winning the trials, and winning three trials in a row, was designed to be impossible. When the Mad King ordered you into the trials, it was always phrased as a gracious invitation so that, if you refused, the King and his allies could claim to be insulted and declare you as his enemy and kill you that way.
In the first trial, it was an "even up match of skills with the spear and shield", except the Kings Champion has real armor and a real spear and I was issued a wicker shield and a very light spear. There was no chance of defeating the Kings Champion in straight up combat, but I was able to win the contest by out maneuvering him, and then using the light spear to slip between his legs and trip him - once he fell, I was able to get on top of hit and get my knee on this throat and choke him out. The Mad King was not pleased, but praised me for my cleverness.
In the second trial, the King gave me a belt of silver, phrased as a gracious gift, and all I had to do was don the belt, and then jump out of a boat and swing across a small lake to thank the King. The belt was heavy enough that if you tried to wear it or carry it, it would take you to the bottom of the lake and drown you - and if you let go of it, you would arrive on the shore without the Kings Gift, an insult that...well, you get the picture. Here, I was saved by the fact that I can swim like an seal. Okay, maybe a very big seal. (LOL - and I will at the end of this entry tell you of something that reminded me off.) So, I went into the water, which was about fifteen feet deep and gently sloped. I let the belt carry me down, then I dropped it, went straight up, got a big breath of air, went back down and walked across the bottom of the lake carrying the belt. I would surface, breath, dive, walk ten steps, surface, breath, dive - until I crossed the lake with my Kings Gift. Again, the King was angered by my defeating his trial, but there was nothing he could do about it.
As the final trial, the Mad King sent myself and another person into the woods to fetch some silver acorns that grew on a certain oak tree deep in the woods. I knew that once I had the silver acorns, the man with me would kill me and claim I tried to steal them. Since he was armed and I was not, the trap was that either I would be killed trying to steal the acorns, or I could defeat him and head back to the Mad King with the acorns - and be put to death for attacking my companion.
I was done playing the game. We were scarcely ten feet inside the deep and dark woods and I picked up a convenient oaken club and bashed him alongside the head, then stripped him and tied him up. I then took his clothes and gear and ran to the oak tree, stole the silver acorns, and as I woke from the dream I was making a run for it through the forest.
Now, I will spend a few days interpreting the dream - though it is pretty descriptive of the work environment I find myself in, serving a Mad King and expecting sanity.
*Okay, I mentioned that I swim like a seal - it's true - I love swimming and I take to the water like a seal. When people would comment in on my swimming, I would tell them I used to be a part of an elite Navy unit. "You've heard of the SEALS? Well, we were the WALRUSES. We were like the SEALS, only fatter and lazier."
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