Melancholy Triggers

Okay, I have a very modern question that was the trigger point of my melancholy last night.  In this very modern world, when a couple separates, who gets the social media spaces?  I wonder if that has already been through the wringing in the courts yet?  I am only half joking - but it is a lot like, when you are a couple and you have a favorite cafe, lounge, or restaurant, and you separate there is real consideration that goes into the decision of who gets to keep what.

I realize of course that social media spaces are big, massive, public spaces and sharing them is the wisest course of action, but, for me at least, there is an element of emotionality that got tangled up in them.  A significant part of our relationship was some very wonderful shared time in social media spaces, so when I revisit these places - there are definitely pangs of loss.

In the aftermath of our separation I deliberately stayed out of almost all social media spaces (this being the main exception) for precisely that reason. I wanted and needed to give myself time to clear my head and my heart. Our relationship had it's back and forth before, it's moments of separation and imminent breakup that we survived. 

This one was different, in both form and function, but I think that inside of me a large part of me simply didn't want to accept that she had made the decision to move on without me.  I respect of it of course.  On many levels I actually encourage it.  I think one of the rare things in this world is something I have always tried to give to the people I love - the encourage to "follow their bliss" wherever it might take them.  That includes the very hard choices that have to be made when a friend and a lover starts moving away from you.

 Here is my philosophy around that in a nutshell:  I think that life is a wonderful journey, from one place to another, that begins in birth and ends in death and in between runs an incredible gauntlet of human experience, all the thousands of things we will live and learn as we go on that journey.  There are hundreds of conflicting forces that move to influence us as we take that trip.  They push us this way and that, they stop us, they start us, they stall us.  They make life both harder and easier.

Many people in the course of their journey stop and cling, they want to stay, they want things to remain unchanged, they want a constancy that is simply not there in our ever changing universe. I include myself in that count. In our lives it is very rare to find a person who encourages us, who loves the journey and encourages us to take it.  I always try to give that encouragement to my friends and lovers. Our relationship was complicated but it had its moments of purity. One of the greatest gifts you can give to a person is simply this - encourage them to take their journey.  Even when that journey takes them away from you, don't cling.  Love with an open heart.  Love with an open hand.