Sometimes They Are Written In Us

Tonight, I needed comfort, so I turned in a direction I often turn in - a classic movie. The choice was from my DVR - John Wayne and Sophia Loren in "Legend of the Lost".  It is one of my favorites, in large part because of the incredible beauty that is Sophia Loren as Dita.

It was a strange day.  Work was basically quiet - the larger team is still locked deep in the reschedule of the project, which buys us lesser beings some time to study and contemplate. Upper management is going to be in a three day meeting (from which I am sure nothing good will come), but it will also contribute to keeping it a quiet week.  I had a lot of operational things stacked up and so I spent most of the day working on them.  Another day and that portion of my slate should be clear.

In my personal life I have been swaying back and forth on strong but hidden currents.  Those currents finally revealed themselves as an ebb tide and I've been swept out to sea. Many years ago I was asked to not expose something on the internet, so I haven't, except in the vaguest senses.  I am a person who is very good at keeping secrets, professionally and personally. It is a blessing and a curse.  As this particular ship takes to sea I am torn by all the emotions that come with such a departure.  Loss and excitement in equal parts. Life is an incredible journey and I think that, sometimes, the best thing we can do is go along with the journey.  Let the sea take us where it will.

Out of curiosity and melancholy during the day I glanced by at this log in August 2008 (five years ago), just to see what the month was like.  I was fairly creative and articulate during that August, all those years ago.  It was an interesting journey.  In that synchronicity that moves inside the secret weave of the universe, I had this entry there.

Requiem for a Comet

Five years later, I could have written the exact same entry - today. We cannot predict where life is going to take us, but the surest predictor of future events are past events and so it often seems that life is wrapping around itself.  I think there are lessons there for us to learn that keep repeating themselves until we learn them.  Sometimes those lessons are written in people. Sometimes they are written in us.

Inside John Wayne

I am sitting inside John Wayne Airport with about an hour and a half to pass before my flight back to San Jose.  They are currently boarding a flight to SFO, so there is a whole ine of strange looking people standing in front of me.  I am often amused by the varieties of dress you see when people are traveling - everything from high fashion to ultra casual - and most of that range is occupied by women.  Men tend to dress in a smaller tighter range that goes from casual to business - and that is about it.  Since this is the home of Disneyland, many of the people passing by are dressed in Disney Tourist (which is a distinct style, as anyone who has ever been to one of the various Disney parts can attest).

It has been a smooth morning.  I got a fairly good night sleep, a lazy start, a smooth trip to the airport and a quick passage through security, despite the fact that I had a small bottle of water in my carry on that I had completely forgotten about.  It is going to be good to get home this evening. One of the best things about traveling is coming home.  No matter where you have gone, no matter what you are doing, all journeys are about, eventually, returning home.

Wondercon was pretty enjoyable.  On the last day we saw a couple of presentations (Alcatraz, Fringe and Once Upon A Time), then hit the vendor floor. I picked up an autographed copy of "Y" at the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund booth, then a pair of prints from Pascal Campion (check out his work at http://pascalcampion.com/ ).  Art-wise, it was a good trip for me and I ended up with a couple of things that are nice little additions to collection.

Even though the vacation has been pleasant, I had a tough time shaking work.  I managed to resist the temptation to log on and check my email - I will do that tonight when I get home just to make sure I don't have a cold walk into a chaotic Tuesday. I made sure that everyone had my cell phone number when I left for vacation, so there was always the opportunity for them to call me in the event of total chaos.  That they didn't leads me to assume that nothing arose that created a crisis that could not be handled.

But, to be honest, I didn't like that work intruded so heavily into my mind while I was on vacation. I am going to have to carefully think about that and about the days to come. In many ways I still fundamentally like my job, but I find myself in an environment that impairs that enjoyment.  It doesn't make the work harder, it makes the environment more chaotic and I spend a lot more time trying to work my way through all that chaos and less time doing what I consider to be productive work.

Though at times I hate to think about it, it may simply be that I have reached the end of my shelf-life at The Evil Corporation and it may be time to seek the next step in my career journey. I don't really like to think about that - but it may simply be the case.  All things come to end, so that all other things can begin.  It may just be that I am ending for the new beginning. 

As I've gone through the last couple of years, one of this parts of this particular journey has been my movement toward a more minimalist life style. It has been a journey of peaks and valleys - or surging change and slow contentment. It may be time that I consider minimalizing my career, consider changing it to something purer.  (Okay, appropos of nothing, a young asian woman just walked by wearing tiny tinkling bells, which stopped all conversation and everyone looked to see what the source of the noise was.)  I have plenty to contemplate in the coming days.