Mostly Incoherent

It has been a busy week here.  The project I am working on passed one of the first key milestones today, so running up to it involved an early start on each day.  Monday and Tuesday I started at about four in the morning and then, last night, I slept a solid twelve hours again.  I am a little tired tonight, now that I am home, but I am going to fight off sleep by watching a couple of episodes of Ancient Aliens and do some writing.  I think maybe a hot bath might be in order as well.  Then, time to start a new novel (I finished my Doc Holliday biography) as I settle into bed.  And, oh, a couple of family calls tonight.  Right now, I am mentally fried, so I may have more coherent thoughts tomorrow.

Morning

It was a beautiful morning
A light fog and through the fog
A full moon, pale and white, glowing
As dawn approached the fog fell
A sheer dressing gown slipping
From the maiden moon and in the east
Over the mountains came the heralds of dawn
Dressed in bands of gold and blue
To sweep back the night and tear
The last tendrils of fog from that
Glorious moon, to strip it naked
For the hot embrace of the sun

Waiting For Pizza

It's a lazy Sunday here in California.  I am sitting in the living room, watching Justified, and waiting for the arrival of pizza and hot wings.  It was one of those lazy that, for me at least, seem to be too few and too far between.  Of course I realize that a lot of it has to do with choice.  Today, I made the choice to be lazy.  I may be even more lazy before the day is out, but that is going to be pretty hard too do.

I've spent most of the day reading my Doc Holliday biography and just soaking up the sun.  I've got all the windows and blinds wide open, letting that glorious light in.  I think that, because of the light, I am in a particular good mood.  I did try and go out for lunch, but I only got as far as contemplating it before I was ordering the pizza.  Days like this are gentle, simple and beautiful.

Mysterious Balances

It was good day.  Sometimes, I think that is enough of an entry, but alas, I can be long winded. It was my work Friday, so I woke up, texted TR (who is traveling), then splashed through the shower.  A simple breakfast of oatmeal, toast and coffee, then into the office.  I spent most of the day reading email that I was behind on and getting my mind around the next big phase of the project I am working on. It is going to be a fun challenge. 

Oh, and last night...well. I got home, I made dinner, I ate dinner, I nearly fell asleep in my chair - so I got up and hit the bed about five thirty p.m. to see if a short nape would take the edge off.  I napped until about eight, woke up just long enough to turn the lights off and make sure the apartment was locked up, and then went straight back to sleep. I slept through until about 1:30 a.m., when I woke, read a bit in the new biography of Doc Holliday, and then promptly went back to sleep.  All told I slept about eleven hours.  I blame it on the fact that twice this week I was working by four a.m..  I think that all simply caught up with me.

So, let me throw another curve ball and go back to work. I had my performance review and merit increase discussion - it went well and I think both were a better reflection of the quality of my work then the last couple of years, so that was a relief.  I was all ready to do some serious battle with, but it turned out to be necessary. The only difficult part of the review was fairly simple too.  My boss thinks (correctly) that I am too helpful to other groups and often end up spending time solving problems that really are not mine to solve (not in my portfolio).  I agree and I am working on getting better at resisting the temptation a problem brings for me.

It has been a quite week. I've been missing TR and I am looking forward to her return next week.  That has been the only melancholy part of my week.  Life is a strange adventure and it is filled with all kinds of mysterious balances. I may have to explore that thought a little later.

Stay Simple, Stay Focused

Well, I woke up last night at 3:41 a.m. and was basically finished sleeping.  I'd fallen asleep at about 8:30 p.m. last evening, so all in all I did get a solid seven hours of uninterrupted sleep.  I started the day by reading a bit in a new biography of the famous gunfighter Doc Holliday, then splashed through the shower.  Breakfast with Special K and black coffee while I watched an episode of Brooklyn Ninety Nine which had me laughing.  Laughter is always a good way to start the day.  Now, I'm starting the process of getting ready for work and I'm watching the news and the weather channel and I am very glad that I am not on the east coast! I joke that whenever I think about leaving California all I have to do is spend a little bit of time watching the weather channel.

I am getting myself psyched up for a day at work.  I have the day pretty much cut out for me. I've got a mostly open morning schedule with my first meeting at 10:00 a.m.. From there, it is pretty much a solid meeting through the rest of the day, with an exception for lunch (an hour). I'll have to keep lunch in close and simple. I've got plenty of work that I need to do, so I am hoping I can get in and get focused right out of the chute today.  That doesn't always happen.

It is nice to be sliding into the end of the week, but I still have quite a few meetings and quite a bit of work ahead of me. I think I will just try my best to keep it simple and focused.  That is a challenge that I seem to find as a theme running through my life lately.  Stay simple, stay focused.

So, I Was Thinking...

It is always better to be honest, with others and with yourself.  As you go through life you will come under tremendous pressure to be less than honest.  This pressure will range everywhere from the very simple and subtle to the large and complex.  I have this to say - it is always better to be honest than dishonest, even in the simplest things and especially with yourself.  You may feel, at times, compelled to be dishonest with others.  There are often very good reasons.  But, that is a line you should never cross with yourself.

The week is passing by - my thoughts, as above, are turned toward honesty and karma.  I've had an interesting week at work and work has spilled over pretty deeply into my personal life, sucking most of it up for the last couple of days.  I am working a big project at work and I found myself in the unusual position that the whole project is much larger than they (the team driving the change) are aware.  I don't think they have really though it through well.  It involves the implementation of a disruptive technology - which is always fun and risky - but, in this case, I don't think they have realized just how disruptive the potential is.  And with disruption comes risk.  And we are a very risk averse organization (rightfully so).

Last week, I was trying to drill home to my management the size and scope of the project they were undertaking and to a degree, I don't think they were really listening.  I kicked up enough of a storm that we ended up having a meeting about it on Tuesday, and in that meeting I swear I could literally hear peoples eyes popping open - most importantly, I think it was an eye opener for the key management people.  We've got a lot of work ahead of it, but I think we are moving into the point where we are getting the visibility we need.  And when I say we've got a lot of work ahead of us, I mean I have a lot of work ahead of  me.  But, I really like the technology, so it is going to be fun.

On the personal side, TR is on a personal trip with family, so I am missing her and looking forward to her return. My friend Tony is still playing the Game of Thrones at work and is doing a very good Ned Stark imitation. "In the Game of Thrones, you win or you die." - Cersei Lannister.  I hope he comes through it okay.  My nephew Tom has battled through another set of health issues, so he is in my thoughts and prayers.  The folks (Mom and Bill) are doing well in the Golden Prairie Manor in Winner, moving through that wonderful South Dakota winter where 18 degrees is a warm day.

Subtleties Inside The Silence

Silence is not always silence. Or perhaps there are subtleties inside the silence that transform them. I think both statements might be true. I love to write. I don't even need to write for other people, I am, at times, completely happy writing for myself. It is a deep and abiding love of the written word that dwells inside of me. I would say that I was born in silence. I would say in the silence I heard a voice. That voice told me a story. I've been telling those stories ever since. There are stories I have never told. There are reasons for that. Some of them are too personal to tell. They are the echoes of events that should not be sullied by the voice. They are best in the silence of memory. There are other stories I have never told because they do not belong to me. Some of those stories I would love to tell because they are great stories and perhaps, someday, I can. There are yet other stories, the contents of which, possess the ability to hurt, the ability to bring about unintended consequences. Those stories are best handled very, very delicately. Then there are stories I cannot tell you because they were confided in me either in secrecy, with explicit wish for privacy. Both of which I understand. Stories are amazing things. I am fortunate to be able to tell a few.

What A Piece of Work Is Man

I've been moody the last two days. I suspect work stress and the weather are, in equal parts, involved.  Neither Friday or Saturday were productive days. Both of them involved long naps.  It may be that is just what I needed to try and recharge my batteries which we partly exhausted by the business travel. I do feel a little better as I slide into the evening here.

I watched the opening ceremonies for the Sochi Olympic Games - very impressive, very beautiful and, for me at least, very moving.  The Russian people have a deep and rich history that, if you are a fan of history, you can easily get lost in it.  The heights they have achieved and the tragedies they have suffered bear witness to the full sweep of humanity (and inhumanity).  I'm already enjoying the games this year.  I am not terribly impressed with NBC's coverage, but so far, for the most part, I can ignore the preening.

I didn't do much today.  I had breakfast with Bob and Tony, then stopped by Bob's house to visit for a while, then went wandering.  I made a short stop at the Barnes & Noble on Stevens Creek and San Tomas Expressway but I was only there for twenty minutes so I didn't pick anything up.  There is no way that I can make that kind of decision in a book store in that short of time.  There are way too many tempting things!

From there, I headed up to Outback Steakhouse at the Great Mall and had lunch with Don, then took a walk through that vast Temple of Mammon.  Afterwards, I came home and laid down and took a longish nap.  I didn't really get to sleep, but I did rest and zone for a while.  Dinner was a bowl of cream of chicken soup while I watched the last of the Olympic ceremony.  Now, I have settled in to watch a couple of episodes of America Unearthed, one of my favorite guilty pleasures.

TR is on travel, so I have missed her, even though she has only be gone for two days.  We human beings are amazing things.  We contain within us Walt Whitman's multitude, which is pretty amazing.  We are creatures of such complexity and yet at the same time we are also creatures of simplicity.  What did Shakespeare say..."Oh, what a piece of work is Man...".

A Hundred Gray Moods

A slow and rainy day of incidental errands and random wandering rich with the scent of a Pacific rain, a world painted in a hundred gray moods.

Been A While

It has been a while since I've written anything for here.  It has been a busy couple of weeks and I've mostly simply been focused elsewhere.  I started to write an entry this morning, but I didn't like the overall tone that it was taking, so I decided to set it aside and try again tonight.  Things have been going pretty well, just busy as all get out. It's been kind of stressful at work - we are in a state of high chaos, which is really nothing new, but it has been wearing on me.

On the personal side, I am doing pretty good - I am hoping to settle into February for a quiet and easy month with a lot of restful time spent at home.  Today has been a good example.  I had breakfast with Tony at Goodies and then we went out to see Monuments Men, which I liked.  Then, lunch at Chevy's.  After lunch I took a long and meandering walk through Westgate, just to stretch my legs.  From there, home to watch the Olympics from the DVR.  Right now, I am sitting here watching the hours sweep by and waiting for the opening ceremonies in less than an hour now.

So, I really don't have much to say tonight, it has been a while and it is good to be back.  I am tempted to take a  nice hot bath before the Olympics starts, but that might put me straight to sleep.  Thursday was an unusually stressful day at the office - the chaos was just getting to me, so I came home and I was basically exhausted.  I had a nice conversation with TR and then I headed for bed.  I was asleep by six thirty or so - and I slept all the way through until about five a.m. the next morning.  All in all about 11 hours of sleep.   Today was, consequently, a low and slow day.