Like The Dude, I Abide

The chaos was not quite as bad today. I did have some periods of time where I got some actual work done. That's always a good feeling. If I had one principal complain about the high work rhythm it's that there never seems to be an end or a sense of completion. It is like fighting the ocean, there is always another wave coming.

Our wave crested on Monday. They announced that our current director would be leaving at the end of the month and we were being moved into an already existing organization. Continuity matters when it comes to organizational effectiveness. I have to say, honestly, that I've never had good continuity at the upper leadership levels since I have been with the evil corporation for 19 years. The average director seems to last maybe a year and a half. Oddly enough the director that lasted the longest was pretty horrible, both as a professional and as a person. Maybe that's what it takes to survive the Game of Thrones in corporate America.

I keep my head down and I keep working and I move in the shadows. Damn, I sound like some kind of corporate ninja. The sad thing is that from my point of view the director we just lost was actually one of the better ones. She knew the business, she knew the functions, and she seem to be a decent human being. Now, I know nothing about the new director, he's relatively new so I have my fingers crossed that he's at least as good. We'll find out!

One advantage I have is that I'm already across the threshold for early retirement. So, to a degree, I could care less what happens. If things turn bad I just move on and start the next chapter of my life. It's a very good position to being. Knowing where the escape hatch is and having my parachute on lessons the stress significantly. It does not make it vantage, I think the working world will always carry a layer of stress with it, but it makes the impact less because I have options.

So the sun keeps rising, the moon keeps falling, the tides come and go, and in the land of flying monkeys, like The Dude I abide.

Weekend Review

It was a good three day weekend. I had a clean Friday off and spent it in relaxing and cleaning/minimizing and in a late afternoon conversation with James. Saturday I had breakfast with Bob, then went to Art Ala Carte in Mountain View with Pierre & Helen. Sunday I had breakfast with Tyrone, then home for more cleaning/minimizing, binge watched Fear The Walking Dead, then episode 2 of Game of Thrones. TR has company for the week, so I'll mostly have the week to myself.

Monday Always Makes It

Monday always makes it, sooner or later. 

Last week was pretty busy, work-wise, and this week is promising more of the same.  The weekend was fairly nice.  Saturday was productive around the apartment and out running errands.  I got all my marketing done and managed to slip out and see "Huntsman: Winters War" at AMC 14.  It is not a life changing movie, but it was enjoyable.  It has an excellent cast and it was visually very pretty, which made up for the rather simplistic plot.  What I would call a great little popcorn movie.  Besides, if you cast Emily Blunt, Charlize Theron, and Jessica Chastain in anything - well, you'll pretty much guarantee I am going to see that one.

Sunday was pleasant as well - breakfast with Bob and Tyrone, then a trip to CVS with Bob so he could get a blood pressure cuff.  Bob is doing okay, all things considered.  Tyrone is Tyrone. After I ran a couple of errands I circled back and had lunch with Rick over at the Orchard City Kitchen, which is a little upscale for my tastes, borderline pretentious - but the food was excellent and the clientele was amusing, so I have to say I kind of liked the place.

Sunday evening was the return of Game of Thrones, which I was eagerly awaiting.  TR extended her trip through the weekend, so she should be home from NYC later today. Oh, and I didn't mention this but I went out and bought a new mattress - a Serta Elegant Plush, which is great.  It was delivered early last week and I have to say I've slept like a baby in the intervening days.  I've also got a pair of cast iron plants on order from Summerwinds Nursery to add a bit more greenery to the apartment. They were supposed to arrive at the end of last week, but they haven't made it yet.  The nursery is going to give me a call when they get in.  I'm going to double entry today, because there is something that I wanted to talk about in a little more detail on it's own and not bury it down in another post.

So, I Was Thinking...

It is always better to be honest, with others and with yourself.  As you go through life you will come under tremendous pressure to be less than honest.  This pressure will range everywhere from the very simple and subtle to the large and complex.  I have this to say - it is always better to be honest than dishonest, even in the simplest things and especially with yourself.  You may feel, at times, compelled to be dishonest with others.  There are often very good reasons.  But, that is a line you should never cross with yourself.

The week is passing by - my thoughts, as above, are turned toward honesty and karma.  I've had an interesting week at work and work has spilled over pretty deeply into my personal life, sucking most of it up for the last couple of days.  I am working a big project at work and I found myself in the unusual position that the whole project is much larger than they (the team driving the change) are aware.  I don't think they have really though it through well.  It involves the implementation of a disruptive technology - which is always fun and risky - but, in this case, I don't think they have realized just how disruptive the potential is.  And with disruption comes risk.  And we are a very risk averse organization (rightfully so).

Last week, I was trying to drill home to my management the size and scope of the project they were undertaking and to a degree, I don't think they were really listening.  I kicked up enough of a storm that we ended up having a meeting about it on Tuesday, and in that meeting I swear I could literally hear peoples eyes popping open - most importantly, I think it was an eye opener for the key management people.  We've got a lot of work ahead of it, but I think we are moving into the point where we are getting the visibility we need.  And when I say we've got a lot of work ahead of us, I mean I have a lot of work ahead of  me.  But, I really like the technology, so it is going to be fun.

On the personal side, TR is on a personal trip with family, so I am missing her and looking forward to her return. My friend Tony is still playing the Game of Thrones at work and is doing a very good Ned Stark imitation. "In the Game of Thrones, you win or you die." - Cersei Lannister.  I hope he comes through it okay.  My nephew Tom has battled through another set of health issues, so he is in my thoughts and prayers.  The folks (Mom and Bill) are doing well in the Golden Prairie Manor in Winner, moving through that wonderful South Dakota winter where 18 degrees is a warm day.

Two Days to Vacation

I have two days left before my vacation starts and to say I am in a state of high anticipation is an understatement.  I've got a sizable stack of tasks ahead of me at work, things that I want to try and wrap up, try and get into a good place, for the vacation.  I will make it, I am just not sure what sort of form that is going to take.  I'll actually spend Thursday afternoon trying to put together a single control document for our team to use while I am out. 

Since I tend to be a process driven person, I wish we have a better process for handling vacations and vacation related transitions.  In large part, because of the frenetic work environment that our director sets, it is very difficult to maintain high professional standards and of course, as I have vented before, we have no process discipline.  Normally, I try not to let work intrude too deeply in my morning thoughts, but since I am in the final run to vacation, I am comfortable with it today and probably tomorrow.  As much as  I dislike it, work will probably spill over into the vacation, but I will try and keep it to a minimum.

So, life does exist outside of the work environment, so let me write about that for a few minutes - in no particular order.

I talked to the ranch last night.  (Okay, actually, I don't talk to the ranch, I talk to my parents and nephew who are living on the ranch.)  Things are going well enough there.  My parents are advanced in age (77), so they have many of the challenges that come with age, but all in all they seem to be doing as well as can be expected.  Their spirits are good and they move through the ordinary days in ordinary ways.  My nephew seems to have his medication under control and so has a some what ordinary life going on. So, all and all, I would say things are going well at the ranch.

T.R. is in NC where they've been going through 40 days and nights of rain.  She is doing well, always charming, always beautiful, always engaging. (Okay, I freely admit to a bit of bias there, LOL.)

My brother Dusty in Arizona is moving into his new house now that he is retired and is in the middle of that whole process, which he seems to be enjoying very much. That is always very cool and it is an exciting time for him and his family.  My sister Bea is moving as smoothly through the world as she can, though she has an over-sized share of drama going on right now. One of her sons in sitting in jail, waiting a preliminary hearing and charges that have the potential to send him away for a long stretch of time. Life is...life is always unexpected. My heart goes out to her, as I am sure that is a very difficult place to be in.

Tony continues to play the Game of Thrones at work and he seems to be in the process of doing a good Ned Stark imitation.  (If you are not a fan of Game of Thrones, let me simply say that - things do not end well for Ned.)

As for me, on a personal level, things are going well. I am healthy, I am centered, I am moving smoothly and learning more each day.  Oh, I have a new toy, a Kindle Fire HD, which is an awesome little device.  I have the 7 inch version, which I like for its size and portability. I've only had it for a couple of days, so I will give a full review a little later in the process.  I do think that it is a niche device, and it fits that niche very smoothly.  (I also think the iPad is a niche device.)

So, it is time to saddle up and head into the Evil Company to try and move as smoothly through the day as I can.  Since my brain in on the Game of Thrones, let me share a picture of one of the great characters in the series - The Mother of Dragons.

Authentic Sleeplessness

I slept fitfully last night.  It was, according to weather.com, the last day of our sweet little heat wave.  By the time I went to bed, about 9:30 P.M., it was still 80 degrees inside and outside.  I slept with all the windows wide open and both heavy duty fans running.  As the night progresses they slowly, gradually, pulled the temperature down. 

Of course, with it being the 4th of July, it was hardly a tranquil night outside, with a rather astounding and diverse array of fireworks rattling the neighborhood, ranging from tiny strings of lady fingers to some pretty massive explosives - large enough to rattle windows and set off car alarms.  They kept up the show until probably around 11:00 PM, when they fell silent.  In the distance you could hear the deep booms of the commercial grade fireworks at the variety of shows around the valley. Then, most likely due to the heat, I seemed to sleep in about two hour blocks through the night.  Two thought threads ran through my dreams and my waking moments during the night. 

First, I dreamed about work, but it wasn’t really work.  In the dream, I was trying to advance forward on some project and I was waiting on three photographs - the photographs had to be specific dimensions and compositions - and (this part actually relates to the real working world) - I could not adjust them myself, even through it would be a relatively simple thing.  Consequently, I was caught in a circle where I kept having to go back and request that it be done over and over.  Two of the photos were corrected relatively quickly, but the third one was very problematic and required many iterations of rework.

Second, I thought about and carried some of the weight of my friend Tony’s work troubles. Now, here is the simple truth - there is nothing I can do to influence the outcomes of his whole dramatic arc there at work.  All I can do is provide him with encouragement and support.  Which I cannot do in the middle of the night as I muddle through waves of fitful sleep.  But, aparently, it is pretty deeply engrained in my nature that I worry about things, including things I simple do not have the ability to influence.  Tony has been playing The Game of Thrones at work - and he stumbled - which means, well, as Cersei Lannister says “When you play the game of thrones, you win, or you die.”  He is not going to die of course, except perhaps metaphorically.  He is, at least in the initial stages, not going to win though.  I carry it in the middle of the night because he is my dear friend and I wish him all the best.

So, yesterday, as I was moving through the day - and then into the evening and night and early hours of the morning I was thinking about what in means to be authentic, in the Buddhist sense.  Of course, religously speaking, I am not a Buddhist, I am a Catholic, but I do find many things in Buddhism to be of value and the whole concept of being authentic is one of them.  The 17th Gyalwang Karmapa has this to say about it:

“So maybe the point is to confront ourselves with the question: am I really a good person, a good human being? Because that is what characterizes being an authentic Buddhist.”

http://kagyuoffice.org/what-makes-an-authentic-buddhist/

To me, the whole concept of being an authentic anything hinges around first, being in the moment, and then second, being the things you value in that moment.  If you value compassion, then being compassionate is being authentic.  If you value generosity, then being generous is being authentic.  Every time you do not live you values, you take a step away from being authentic.  Everything you live your values, you take a step toward being authentic.  It is a pretty interesting concept, at least to me, and I am sure I will be thinking about it for a while at least.

It Was Easy Going

It was a pleasant spring day today. I didn't sleep well last night, I woke up off and on through the night, mostly due to street noise, since I was sleeping with the windows open.  In spite of this, I had a pretty smooth and relatively serene day.  I went to breakfast early (a vegetarian eggs Benedict), then did a couple of loads of laundry at the laundromat.  At 11:20 AM I went to CineArtes down at Santana Row and saw "Now You See Me", then grabbed lunch at Pasta Pomodoro - tortellini soup and baked manicotti. A short walk down to Best Buy, then off to Lenscrafters to get my sunglasses fixed (lost screw), then home where I hung out with Tony and watched the remake of Total Recall and then the latest episode of Game of Thrones.  I think tonight I am going to spend some time reading Leviathan Wakes.  In short, it was an easy going Sunday.

Oscar Worthy Film - Mud

Well, I think I saw the first truly Oscar worthy film today - "Mud" with Matthew McConaughey.  It is one of those film that on the surface is pretty straight-forward.  A pair of boys find Mud on an island in the middle of the river, hiding out, and they decide to help him.  Wrapped within all that though is a great, subtle, mesmerizing film that is entirely true to it's own heart.  I would highly recommend it.

 

Wrapped around that was a pleasant day. No particular moment stood out as transcendent, no particular event besides the movie was a true gem, but the day itself was simple and precious.  I am home now, settled in for the evening, feet propped up, glass of ice water next to me, waiting for "Game of Thrones" to begin.  A simple and beautiful night.

Game of Thrones Mini-Marathon

My friend Tyrone was down with the flu, or the aftermath of the flu, today so he had to pass on our Game of Thrones mini-marathon.  That didn't stop the rest of us.  We got some snacks, ordered pizza, and settled in to watch six hours of the show.  It was excellent.  It's a pretty good series on HBO and of course, the books are simply twisted and outstanding, which is high praise from me.  My favorite character - without a doubt - Daenerys Targaryen - Daenerys Stormborn.

  

That was pretty much the sum of the day. It was very pleasant and very relaxing. After the long run in project world it was nice to have a Saturday where I did not feel pressed for time.  As for work, well, we will see what unfolds there.  I guess I am getting caught up in my own little Game of Thrones there, but I could not in good conscience keep silent. I would rather speak up and keep a good conscience.

I don't really have anything planned tomorrow.  I might go up to Fremont to get breakfast with the guys, just to do something different.  It is Mother's Day.  I called the Ranch tonight to check on everyone and wish my mother an early Mother's Day, but I did run into a cranky bunch of people, so it was a short call.  I think I am going to spend the rest of the evening watching "John Carter" off the DVR.  Speaking of which, sitting her thinking about it, Edgar Rice Burroughs Martian series of books also have a strong female character - the almost incomparable Dejah Thoris.

Do we sense a strong women theme here.  Perhaps in my entire life.  I may have to meditate on that as I slide into the evening.  Who ever you are and where ever you are, I hope you're having a pleasant day.

Rabbit Heart

The day has slowed to a pleasant crawl.  I am sitting in the office listening to Florence + The Machine “Lungs” on my iPod.  (If you’re not a fan of Florence + The Machine you should be.)  I’ve got one more short meeting today in about a half an hour, just an end of the week status.  It’s been a very productive day.  I am looking forward to the weekend though - simple plans mostly. Some of my friends are coming over on Saturday and we’re going to do a “Game of Thrones” mini-marathon, watching the first six episodes off the DVR, with a lunch intermission halfway through.  It should be a pleasant and relaxed time.  I’m looking forward to it.  Otherwise, I really don’t have anything planned for the weekend.  I don’t even have anything planned for the evening.  Right now, I am torn between a desire to head over to the park and take a long rambling walk or I’ll stop off at the pool hall and log in a practice hour.  I need to invest some time in working on my cue ball control.  I think that would add a tail to some of my runs, if I can get the cue ball to end up where I want it to end and not “somewhere in the vague direction, sometimes”. I’ll leave you with a chorus from “Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up”.

“This a gift comes with a price

Who is the lamb and who is the knife

Midas is King and he holds me so tight

And turns me to gold in the sunlight.”

Hard Choices

One of the hard choices you may be call to make in the course of your career is "what do you do when you think your company is making a bad call". The exact circumstances can vary in a hundred ways, but the overall structure of it is almost always the same. The "Powers That Be" have reached a conclusion and announced a course of action and you have serious misgivings about it. They may be legal, they may be ethical, they may be strategic or they may be purely functional. You have a choice - and the choices is - what do you do.

I am not a plastic saint, you'll never see a statue of me mounted on anyone's dash board, but I do try to be as true to my own values as I possibly can. For me, that means I am compelled to speak up. Now, how you handle this type of event can have a big difference in the impact. Always start from the assumption of innocence - that the decision, whatever it was, was reached by a logical process and is driven by solid reasoning that you simply don't understand. Then, ask someone to help you understand the reasoning that went into the decision. If you approach it delicately, with a sincere desire to understand and that assumption of innocence several things may be the outcome.

First, they might actually be able to persuade you that it was the right decision. It is always possible, and indeed, often the case, that we don't understand things because we don't have the full picture. So, often enough, you'll discover it was the right decision. But, not always. Then, you have another decision point. Fortunately for me, right now, I am only at the first decision point. I became aware of a decision that was made at work and some actions that were implemented and they raised a pair of red flags for me. So, I documented when I perceived and what I understood, then contacted my immediate manager and asked for a teleconference to raise my concerns. My immediate manager agreed with my concerns and if facilitating a discussion somewhat later in the week between myself and the director who is in charge of the questionable activity. I have my fingers crossed that they can convince me that I am not quite understanding what I heard, and I freely admit that may be the case.

But, it could be that I understood correctly - and then we will land in a place where we have a serious disagreement. If that arises, then I will do what I have always done - I will push a bit harder. Fortunately, we are a large company and we have the mechanisms in place for just such a push. As I am going through initiating this whole process today, I couldn't help by thinking of Cersei Lannisters line "When you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you die". Whether I win or die in corporate terms I am always happy to be able to look myself in the eye.

Thoughts on Art and Business

I lingered in bed this morning, enjoying the quiet of the dawning day. The encompassing warmth of my comforter was a pleasant cocoon as I lay there and looked out at the green trees beyond the window and the gray clouds beyond them. I am not sure if the sun is going to break through today, though the weather channel was forecasting what T.R. likes to call a "partly" day. Either way, I am looking forward to the day off. I am supposed to meet some of my friends for breakfast in about an hour and a half, so I am sitting here, writing, drinking coffee, and watching the day open up.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. Breakfast, a trip to Best Buy, then a trip up the the Cantor Arts Center at Stanford. Tony and I had drifted up there is spend the day just wandering. The weather was very nice, a cool, blue California spring day. Specifically, I'd wanted to go up to see "Illustrated Title Pages" exhibit and I'm planning on going up next weekend to see "The Art of the Book in California" exhibit. I'd considered just waiting until next weekend and going up to see both exhibits at the same time, but I decided to split the trip between two weekends. Sometimes, when you are in a Museum, seeing too many exhibits can dilute the impact of a singular exhibit. The Illustrated Title Pages was a very cool exhibit - the intricacy of the work on the face plates of older books was pretty astound, especially when you consider at it's very heart it is merely lines of varying thickness and spacing. Truly astounding stuff.

We grabbed lunch at the cafe there in the museum and it was also surprisingly good. We ate on the balcony outside of the cafe, overlooking the Rodin sculpture garden. I had a pulled pork sandwich on panini, which was excellent. After that, we checked out the sculptures, always one of my favorite parts of the Cantor Arts Center.

This was all followed by a lazy afternoon at home, including a short nap, a conversation with one of my sisters, reading Li Young Lee, and watching John Carpenters "The Thing" on HBO. Dinner was a tasty home made chili con queso, followed by a quiet evening reading and watching the DVR until "Game of Thrones" at nine. All it all, I have to say that it was a pretty nice day.

I was a little disappointed that I had work intruding on my brain off and on over the weekend. I would have liked to have made a clean separation to enjoy the three day weekend, but things are confused and lacking direction at work lately (not so much from my management, but from upper management), and there seems to be a lot of "activity without a purpose". We seem to be moving around a lot, gathering data, analyzing it - but there isn't a central underlying theme.

When it comes to leadership I've developed what I call "the theory of bright lines". I think the purpose of leadership is to draw bright lines. In short, leaders need to draw three bright lines. These lines delineate two things. The first line, the center-line, points to where the organization is going and the path it needs to take to get there. The second set of lines are the outer boundaries - these lines delineate where the organization is not going to go. These bright lines should clearly define what the organization does and why (the center line) and what the organization doesn't do and why (the boundary lines). The brighter these lines are drawn by leadership the more likely the organization is to be successful, in whatever terms are defined as being successful (the center line).

Leadership is responsible for drawing and communicating these lines. When leadership fails, organizations drift. We're currently caught in a situation right now in the work environment where our leadership is not drawing the bright lines. They are drawing lines, but there is discernible pattern to those lines. It is quite possible that the unifying theme is going to be revealed at some point in the future. More likely, upper management thinks they are drawing those lines clearly and simply doesn't realize that, to those of us in the functional levels, we're just seeing semi-random lines.

An Idle Sunday

It is early Sunday afternoon, just after 1:00 PM. I am sitting on my La-Z-Boy in the living, watching the last two episodes of HBO's Camelot and just contemplating things. It's been a good day, a mostly quiet day.

I didn't fall asleep until late last night. Oh, I went to bed early enough, slept about an hour, then woke up and tossed and turned until about 1:00 AM. There wasn't any particular reason, rather I hovered in that place between waking and sleeping where you are aware of the passage of time. Once I fell asleep, I slept deeply and woke at close to 6:30 AM. I tumbled through the shower, had a quick breakfast of oatmeal, and then called home and wished my mother a happy Mother's Day.

I then met two friends of mine for breakfast (Bob and Tyrone) at the Hickory Pit, where I had the Monte Cristo, which was tasty. From there, I stopped by the market, picked up groceries for the coming week, then stopped to pick up two new pairs of blue jeans. (I'd bought a pair of Wranglers a few months ago and strangely, both of them wore a hole in exactly the same spot. I am not sure what caused it - but I do have this thing about jeans with holes in them - I don't like them. While I was at the store I also picked up a pair of black khaki's.)

I found my way home and had lunch - a bowl of cream of mushroom soup and a peanut butter sandwich. Lunch finished, I cleaned the kitchen, straighten out some incidental stuff in the bedroom, and then came online to see if there was anything worth watching at the movie theater. I've already seen "Thor" (definitely recommend it and I see it did 66 million, which is a good opening). Other than that, there really wasn't anything that I was interested in. There is a movie in limited release that looks like it might be interesting, called "There Be Dragons", but it looks like one of those movies you have to be in the right mood to watch.

Since I've got quite a bit of stuff stacked up on my DVR, I thought I would watch the last two episodes of Camelot, which has been enjoyable, especially the performances by Joseph Fiennes as Merlin and Eva Green as Morgan La Fey. Combined with HBO's "Game of Thrones" they have an excellent pair of fantasy based original series running.

Well, I am going to settle in and enjoy the programs for a while, as well as working my way through the Sunday paper. I hope your day is going well, whoever you are.