Showing posts with label Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Thoughts. Show all posts

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Genius is Eternal Patience - Michelangelo

Today is the last working day of 2012 for me. When I wrap up in an hour or two, I will have managed to make it through another year, with all the attendant challenges, incidents, accidents and opportunities. Looking back, though the work year had it’s fair share of challenges, it was all in all pretty good. It certainly could have been a lot worse.

I have a couple of points of irritation that I seem unable to resolve – the level of uncertainty is very high, my upper management can’t communicate well, the pace of change is hard and fast, and it is a continual struggle to get items into the hands of the groups who can actually resolve them, due to all of the preceding issues. Still, these are pretty much exactly the same problems I entered the year with, so nothing there comes as a great surprise.

Work-wise, I am glad the year is done and I am looking forward to the New Year, mainly to the things that I am going to do in response to this tremendous sense of ambivalence I feel toward the current work environment. Here at the tail end of the year there was a development that I personally considered heartening. After a year or so of being under the command and control of “The Children’s Crusade”, there was the movement of a VP into a key support role – and this happens to be a VP who has a tremendous amount of respect from me, both personally and professionally. I am not sure what impact it is going to have immediately, but I am looking forward to the impact of someone in the upper management chain who is both competent and compassionate.

So, with this tiny set of notes, I am going to close out the 2011 working year, attend a few more meetings, and then slip into the long four day weekend. I hope your working year was good and I hope your working year is also over!

"Genius is eternal patience." Michelangelo

Friday, December 23, 2011

Semi-Random Thoughts on 2012

- I want to make it a deliberate year, a year where I carefully consider and do the things I want to do.

-i want to make it a focused year, where rather than scatter my energies across a variety of things I pull in a tight focus on a few things that I can have a significant impact against.

-i want to make it a year of actively embracing change and new, different, and interesting things.

-I want to make it a year of slow and steady transformation.

-At the core of it I want to read more, write more, and ride my bike more.

-i want to continue on my journey of simplification, giving away half my remaining stuff and not accumulating any new stuff.
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Thursday, December 22, 2011

End of the Year Thoughts

I am sliding toward the end of the year here and I am starting to have end of the year thoughts. At this time I like to do sort of an internal review and summary of the incidents and accidents of the year before. I look back at the things that influenced me, at how they influenced me, and at any lasting impacts they might have had.

Its not a season of answers. It's more of a season of questions, a season of observations. Those questions and observations will be mixed together, sorted through, picked over and will eventually combine and take form as my resolutions for the New Year. I think they've already got their rough forms shaped out, but their finished forms remain to be polished.

I am looking forward to the New Year with a certain level of optimism, a greater level of optimism. Inside, I feel as if I am in a good place. I am looking forward to the New Year and what it is going to bring. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I think I am going to try and make it a more deliberate year and a more focused year. With those two attributes as the twin pillars of a temporal and secular faith, I am going to focus on Cathedral building. I am going to direct thoughts and activities toward creating some grand.

Of course it is all deliciously vague at this point, but that part of the fun of it, part of the joy of it. There is where that sense of optimism is rising from. A sort of gleeful desire to create in the coming year. A sort of tantalizing sense of an impending and anticipated journey. That feeling of excitement when you're about to embark on a trip that you've been anticipating for quite a while.

It's a great feeling. It's a good way to end the year. It's a good way to start a New Year.
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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Just A Few Thoughts

The trend of the busy week continues, but I think today was the turning point. One of the four issues I was dealing with at work is resolved, two have wound way down and I think are near resolved, and the fourth has been successfully handed off to the next team that gets to work on it.

Now, of course any of them has the potential to surge back up, but I am not suspecting it. One of the things about data analysis is - there is always a bottom to the data. There is only so much information that can be gleaned from a data set, regardless of how expansive the data set is, and especially if the data is being evaluated to provide an answer to a specific question.

I can tell from the tone of this entry that I am still deep inside that portion of my brain where the analyst reigns supreme. When I get that far in, it generally takes a couple of days to find my way back out. So, I have a weekend of relaxation, maybe some wandering, good food and poetry planned. I should also be able to slip some writing in there as well.

Friday, April 29, 2011

The Speed of Thought

The human mind is an incredible thing. The speed with which our thoughts arise, move, change, transform, and fall away can often astound me. Because of the journey I’ve been on over the last period of time, I have been focusing on simplification, both externally, by purging myself of many of my possession, and internally, by trying to do a better job of focusing on the “here and now” and not letting my thoughts (the monkey mind) run away from.

I won’t kid you, it has been a struggle. If I had to characterize it, I would say that I went from being in the here and now 1 out of 10 moments to, maybe, 2 out of 10 moments. The main difference is that now I am often more aware of when the monkey mind has taken hold and is in the processing of running away with thoughts that are not real.

I got back from lunch a short while ago, and because it has been a quiet and very productive day, I decided to simply take a walk around the building. I was probably a quarter of the way into the walk when I realized that my monkey mind was in a complete runaway state. It was merrily dashing through all sorts of imaginative thoughts, good, bad, confused, and indifferent. I was deep down a tangent when the realization of it came to me.

It was so dazzling I was amazed as the speed and ferocity of that little monkey mind dashing all around. I took a series of deep breaths and concentrated, as best I could, and simply walking down the hallway without the monkey mind getting away from me. In itself that can be a difficult things because, what my mind did, instead of concentrating on being in the hallway, it started to write this article, right there, as I walked down the hallway and tried to focus the monkey mind on being in that moment, my mind was more than willing to skip ahead to this moment.

Like I said, it was pretty dang awesome. I managed to reel it in and get it focused so that I was able to simply walk down the hall, but it took an effort of will and it keep threatening to get away from me again.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Thoughts About Blogging

While I was thinking about what to do with my blog – whether to continue writing here in Rod’s Floating World or to move over to a new blog, or perhaps to open multiple blogs so they could be subject specific, I realized I had never really contemplated what I wanted to accomplish with a blog. The short answer is – I don’t really know the answer to that question. What motivates me to write and to publish those writings online?

I am really not interested in a commercially successfully blog. I’ve read quite a few of them (and subscribe to a couple) and though they’re enjoyable they lack the “personality” that I like. When I read someone else’s blog I like to get the sensation that I am reading what a person is writing. Not an assumed virtual persona whether the handle is anonymous or masked or not. I think one of the great powers of the internet is the ability of people to connect with other people. There is plenty of commercially produced content online and I really don’t feel a great need to contribute to that sea of stuff. So, whatever I decide to do, ultimately, it is going to be a personal blog – I am going to try and keep that personal touch that lets you understand that you are reading something that is writing by someone. Not something that is produced according to some magic formula for the sole intention of selling ad space.

Then, I do like a theme. There is nothing particularly wrong with the rambling blogs, but a themed blog is simply easier to follow. A theme is more of an assurance that when the reader goes to a specific site they are going to get articles that move along certain vectors, articles that are about certain things – poetry, short fiction, writing, science, technology, media, - whatever the author chooses to write about., but it allows the reader to find those blogs of interest and follow them, with a sort of implicit promise that if your interest is poetry, you’re not going to log on and find a political rant – or vice versa.

I also write as an internal process. I write to help me understand – well, me. So, to a degree, I write as an act of contemplation and meditation. Call it mediation at the keyboard. I write in an attempt to understand things.

Then, I write to create, writing to create, I write to hone my writing and my story telling skills. Here is an interesting little tidbit – I write a lot for work – I write training manuals, I write technical documentation, I write process documentation, I write informational documents, I write analytical documents and I write persuasive documents – in short, I write a lot. I write a little over 200,000 words a year. That is roughly the equivalent of writing two novels a year. I’d also hazard that, as in information systems analysis manager I make an income that exceeds most writers, probably by a significant margin. Just out of curiosity I used Google to see what payscale.com lists as the average income for a retail book author: 28K to 59K. Compare that to the average income for an IT manager: 59K to 101K. Hmmm, I think I may very well continue to write for the love of it.

So, I am going to write something personal, I am going to write something themed, I am going to write to hone my writing and story-telling skills and I am going to write for the love of it. It doesn’t really answer my question on whether I should have multiple blogs (though it does point toward an answer), but it does provide me with insight. The biggest insight I drew from this little writing exercise is simply this – I write for the love of it. That is a pretty amazing thing. But then, love always is.

(Okay, just a bit of strangeness involving this post - I originally wrote it while winding down the afternoon at work and attempted to use the email feature to submit it to the blog - but the security policy at work caught the email and rejected it for content. I've tried re-reading it, but I can't see what content it would reject, other then perhaps some strange combination of words. Very unusual.)

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Daily Life: Quick Thoughts In Succession

Just some quick thoughts in rapid succession on a Wednesday morning:

The heat and pollen have me sneezing quite expressively this morning. I suspect I am composing the Symphony of Allergy.

T-Minus 1 Day, Seven Hours, Forty-One Minutes to the start of vacation.

Whispering as a method of not attracting attention fails miserably. It only draws further attention to the conversation you don't want anyone to hear. Speak in a normal voice, than, most likely, your conversation will simply be lost in the background chatter.

I love the sun of summer, even if it is making me sneeze.

I often move through the course of a working day and think "okay, exactly how tough can this be"?

Did you ever notice that, ninety-nine percent of the time something goes wrong, it is usually due to something very simple, at the very base level, that went wrong?

Friday, January 9, 2009

Today's Train Of Thought

I woke this morning with a train of thought running through my head. The train was something like this...

When we are young our parents try to teach us the wisdom they have learned over the years.
When we are adults we try and pull what wisdom we can from the things we experience, often not understanding the how's and the why's of it all.

When we become old, we find that the wisdom we had rejected in our youth and sought in our middle years has settled upon us, and it is often neither what we were taught nor what we sought.

I think that is the natural course of things. I am not really sure why it was on my mind when I woke up this morning. I don't recall coming out of a dream or anything - it was just a train of thought that was running through my brain.

I drove into work this morning in a very heavy fog. I like the fog (even though it slows traffic to a standstill). I like the otherworldiness of it. Today the sun burned the fog away in the blink of eye and we have been gifted with a cool, but bright, California day.

The weather forecast for the weekend is more sun and more blue sky and I am definitely looking forward to it - I will want to get out there and do some basking. Maybe find a big rock somewhere and lay on it like a giant lizard. I always threaten to do that at the office - find a bare patch of concrete and sprawl out and just lay there in the sun, but I usually manage to restrain myself.

I am looking forward to the weekend, though I don't have anything specific planned, I am sure I will be out enjoying that sun somewhere. Next weekend I have a four day weekend (my normal 9/80 day off and the holiday). I am looking forward to that as well.

The speed at which times passes is always kind of astounding to me. Tomorrow we will already be ten days into the new year. Somewhere on Sunday 1/100th of the 2009 will already be gone. As a guy obsessed with counting things - that is pretty cool.

I am going to chalk today up to one of those ordinary days that I love so much. Hope your day is ordinary as well, whoever you are, where ever you are.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Elusive Thoughts

There are times when I sit down to write where the thoughts remain elusive. It is as if the thoughts themselves are not yet differentiated among themselves. They are there, they are moving about in their orbits, but they remain half glimpsed under the waters of a vast and still lake, currents, whose existence is only revealed in a drifting leaf on an otherwise undisturbed surface.

I think this evening is an evening similar to one of those still pools. I am enjoying it, sitting here, just watching that stillness. It is cool outside, nearing cold. The apartment is filled with small noises. Sometimes the rush of the heater fills the air with a soft white noise. When the heater falls quiet I can hear the small sounds. The ticking of the clock in the kitchen. The slight noises the freezer makes. The miscellaneous sounds from outside.

Well, I don't want to push the metaphor to far. It has been a nice quiet night that I have wandered through, reading, watching Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles on the DVR, in conversation with a dear friend, eating ham and bean soup, chasing it down with Neopolitan ice cream and a tall glass of water.

Not a bad night for elusive thoughts.

Perhaps a night crafted specifically for elusive thoughts.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Thoughts on a Gentle Day

When I am writing, I often plumb my memory of the immediate for a hook, something to start the writing process. It usually tends to be a sense memory and from there - a topic often unfolds. Other times is flows out a specific event - either a peak event or a valley event - a good moment or a bad moment.

So, I was sitting here, taking a break from work, thinking about writing a journal entry and I ran through my sense memories of the day. Nothing really stood out. It has also been a day without a real peak or valley moment - nothing extraordinarily good or bad…

And the moment I wrote that last sentence I realized there was a peak moment. It was a gentle peak. Very early this morning while I was in the shower someone dear to me called and left me a voice mail.

It was a simple voice mail, gracious and humorous and sensual, all wrapped in a few short sentences. It made me smile, made me laugh, and gave me a bit of a thrill. I have noticed even as I sit here recalling it that the corner of my mouth has curled in a smile.

All in all it has been a gentle day. It is wonderful to say that. I subscribe to an email list that sends out daily quotes and small articles of a spiritual nature. It is non-secular, no particular religion or bend, just a collection of quotes. There is almost always something inside of there that I enjoy.

Today, it was a quote from Sophocles.

"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life. That word is love."

That is a perfect quote for a gentle day. The other day in my journal I had written a poem about small gods. I also love the small god of gentle days like today.