A Quiet and Mostly Productive Day

A quiet and mostly productive day at work. I am trying to focus on getting every lined up and sorted properly, thinking that, perhaps, better organization will make the coming year easier. A pizza for dinner, a night of DVR, some texting with T.R. (who is close in my heart tonight), and I think I am going to wrap the night up by reading some more of "The King of Thorns".  I've been meaning to read it during the evenings, but I've fallen asleep quickly and I've been lucky if I have turned a page or two.

Sometimes We Forget To Look At The Map

All of the events of our lives have a certain weight to them.  As we go through our lives, we carry that weight.  Sometimes those burdens are light - all the things we carry that we love, all of the things we carry for the people we love, all of those have very little weight.  They have a joyous weight, even if they are difficult and challenging things. The burden of our lives comes from carrying all of those things that we do not love, or that we do not carry out of love.

I think it is very important in this world, as we make our way through it, to carefully consider what we decide to carry and what we decide to set down. We can be selective about the weight we carry.  We can choose to carry the joyous things.  We can choose to set down the burdens.

We don’t get to set down all burdens of course - some of them belong to us, for a short while, for a long while, and those we have to carry.  I think that is part of the price that comes with this wild and beautiful thing called being human.  But there are plenty of burdens that we pick up and carry and we simply do not need to - our anger, our hate, our fear, our resentment, our disappointment, all of this are unneccesary burdens. We should examine them carefully and set them down.

It may seem like a strange thing, but when we go through the process of setting down the burdens we don’t need to carry, we make room for the burdens we do need to carry and they become both purer and lighter.  They are transformed into sort of a defining weight and they slip out of the burden category.

I think one of the biggest voluntary burdens that we carry is our attempts to live other peoples lives for them. Whether we attempt to persuade them or attempt to command them, we are attempting to alter the course of their lives. We don’t have that right, even for the people we love.  Everyone has the right to make their own choices, to carry their own burdens, according to their will or fate or destiny or simple random choice.

We should always give our best advice.  We should always provide our best counsel. We should provide both in a manner that is consistent with what we value, with what we hold valuable.  Then we should let it go.  Advice and counsel is a gift - whether they pick up the gift or ignore the gift is a choice and that choice is their to make.

This is not an easy path.  But then, it is the difficult paths that take you to the most stunning vistas.*

 

*A brief but true story:  Some years ago, while I was driving through the midwest, I stopped at Yellowstone for two days of sightseeing and hiking.  As I wandered through the park in the fall, I stopped in a parking lot. There was a sign/trail marker there that pointed up the mountainside to an attraction and said it was a short hike away, maybe a mile or less.  I slipped into my knapsack, tightened my boots and for about 20 minutes I walked up the side of the mountain.  The hike was worth it - the sight was beautiful, and I turned around and hiked back down.  I got into my car, drove further down the road, which twisted and turned up the mountain, and suddenly there I was.  At a parking lot.  About a hundred feet from the sight I had seen minutes before. Sometimes life makes you do things the hard way before showing you the easy way. Sometimes we just forget to look at the map.

 

My day was influenced by the twin pillars of stress in my immediate world - family and work.  So, all in all, it was a stressful day that was only minimally productive.  However, I realized that and tonight I spent fifteen or so minutes simply breathing, simply meditating and it has helped to reset me for the evening at least.

My work pillar of stress was invoked when we discovered a problem in the design of one of the components of the project. Basically, we had designed around the vendor software doing X, we had confirmed with the vendor that the software did X, and then were we actually got into test - we discovered that it was doing Y and that it couldn't do X.  It was quite irritating.  The vendor is working at finding a way around the problem with a redesign and we're meeting regarding it again tomorrow.

My family pillar was touched by family being family.  We are nothing if not a stubborn lot and I think that part of the way for all members of my family to lower their stress levels - and mine - is for them to simply take a deep breath, find the moment, and life their lives.  I am profoundly influenced by the quote from John-Roger that I am fond of, where he basically says:  "We must allow people the dignity of their journey".  It is a simple saying, but it is a difficult thing to do.

Free will means that we all have the freedom to make choices.  I think it is important that we allow people the freedom of their own choices, even when we disagree with them, even when we would make different choices, even when we are convinced they are making the wrong choices, or, that more common item - where we think we would make better choices then they would.  Or when we think that we are making a better choice then they are.

Free will is an interesting thing. It allows us to shape the universe itself with our choices.  But, at the same time, it allows us to shape the universe itself with our choices. I think if we want our free will to be treated with dignity and respect, even by people who disagree with the choices we make - then we need to make sure we extend that same courtesy to other people - and I think that is the core of what John-Roger is getting at. 

I will have to contemplate that some more as I wander off to sleep tonight. My plan tonight is a call with T.R. and then to curl up with "The King of Thorns".  It has been any enjoyable set of books - the second one is a little too non-linear in my book, but not enough that it is going to stop me from reading it and looking forward to the third book in the series that comes out this summer.

And oh, I have some credits racked up in my Audible account, so I think I may drift over there tomorrow and see if I can get a book or two.  I sure have an ongoing and passionate love affair with reading, one that has been with me all my life and will doubtless stay with me for the rest of it.

A Tranquil Feast

Today was a tranquil feast for mind, body and spirit.  And that is all I need to say about it.

A Good Day, With Circles

I coasted through the day today.  I started by sleeping a bit late for me, almost seven p.m., and then moving leisurely into the morning with a long hot shower.  Breakfast at the Hickory Pit with Tyrone, then I swung back home briefly, not long enough to do anything, but long enough to put my feet up for a while.

From there I drove up to the Great Mall and met Don to see "Promised Land", the new Matt Damon movie.  It was...beautiful fluff. I think there was potential there - good actors, good director (Gus Van Sant) and a potentially interesting subject, fracking.  But, it wasn't really a coherent story with characters that you could invest in.  It was more a collection of scenes acted by good actors, but with cookie cutter motives.  After we came out of the movie we stopped at Outback to have lunch (mmm, Alice Springs Chicken) and I realized I had seen the movie before - only done much better.  It you want to make the comparison then I recommend you catch one of my favorite movies - "Local Hero".  Corporate outsider comes to quaint village to secure leases/easement for the evil corporation to build a facility that will destroy the village and it's quaint way of life.  Except "Local Hero" has far more interesting characters and a better story.

After lunch, I took two laps of the Great Mall (it's a mile around on the inside), weaving in and out of the crowd and people watching and talking with Don.  From there, I drifted homeward and stopped at Office Depot on Stevens Creek to get a new desk for the kitchen and to check out what they had on sale for monitors.  I lucked out and got both a desk and a monitor on sale.  The monitor was the display monitor, but it is pretty nice and in good shape and the price made it irresistible. The desk is exactly what I was looking for - a small to mid-sized desk for use in the kitchen. When I first moved into this apartment years ago, this is where I had the computer desk sitting, in the kitchen and over the years it has migrated to a variety of other places.  Right now, the spare bedroom is set up as a home office and I wanted the extra desk out here for incidental use, or for when I wanted to move about the house and get a different light.

The desk assembly went pretty smoothly - there was one corner anchor on the actual desktop itself where the plastic insert was damaged, so ultimately I finished the desk without anchoring that corner down.  There are enough other anchor points that the desk is very stable anyway. But, tomorrow, I may stop at OSH and see what they have that would allow me to jury-rig something to fasten that computer down.

It was definitely an interesting day - I got my Mind, Body, and Spirit thing in and I feel pretty centered and balanced.  I woke this morning with a phrase from a dream running around inside of me, and I'll share it with you here.  "Forgiveness is paramount for Happiness".  Seems to be a pretty straightforward bit of dream insight and I can think of more than a few circumstances in my life where it might be relevant.  In light of the hour, I think it is time to curl  up with my book - "The King of Thorns" and read myself to sleep.

Friday's End Game

It is nice to have reached the end of the week.  Maybe I need to find a job where I only work three days a week.  That would certainly be nice.  Actually, one of the things I have contemplated is similar to that concept.  If I would make my present pay rate - only reduce the hours to a level where I was still living comfortably, it would be nice to do.  Make two-thirds of my current income, but only work two-thirds of the time as well.  A lucrative part-time job.  Of course, I realize that is probably the dream of many people.

It’s been fairly quiet here at work, in part because it is off Friday for most of the employees and in part because a lot of people are still out on vacation from the holiday.  There was enough work today to keep me steadily engaged through the day and allow time for lunch and “thinking time” in regards to the various work items that arose.

I’ve changed the background screen on my work computers to a classic Zen Enso (an brush style painting of an open ended circle) to help me maintain my zen through the coming year. I’ve also implemented what I call a “balance point”, that is a point or two during the day where I stop working and focus on something else, even if it is only for a few minutes.  This is being written in one of those balance points.

I am looking forward to the weekend, though I don’t have anything planned.  I am hoping to get down to the Tech Museum to see the last two days of a Mythbusters exhibit that I keep meaning to go to but never quite make.  However, I think it is supposed to be a rainy weekend, so that would make it perfect for that little trip - if I feel up to it. 

I’d also like to get out and do some playing with my camera, to begin the process of skill building there.  It is the first time I’ve owned a Nikon and the design/configuration switches, buttons and menus all Greek to me.  The first set of photographs I took with it had no keepers. I took a second set the day before yesterday and some of them turned out very nice, so it is just a matter of time before I gain some level of mastery over the new tool.

Since this is nearing the end of the work week, I am going to count this as a good week, all in all.  Work was brisk but not overwhelming and I managed to keep a good focus and my Zen cool, so I will consider that a win.  I am still in the process of thinking about the year that just passed, so I imagine I am going to do some dedicated meditation and contemplation in that direction during the weekend.  I will also focus some of that discipline toward the coming year and tease out some variations on my resolutions. I am trying to harness that incremental power, where you do just a little bit at a time, take a few steps at a time, and then as time passes come to realize that you’ve made significant strides toward your new goals, whatever they are. I am in the specific goal generating phase right now, since I’ve already set the main goals.

Tonight, I Read

I've been moving through the evening here at a stately pace.  I got home from work about 4:00 PM, cooked myself a nice and simple dinner of baked cod and green beans, and then settled in and took my Christmas decorations down.  I'm pretty compact when it comes to Christmas - a simple tree, a simple decoration, a wreath on the door, some lights outside on the balcony, a creche and a few other odds and ends.  Packing it all away is as easy as setting it up.

I enjoyed Christmas this year.  I did feel some residual guilt for not going back to the ranch in South Dakota, but when I made the decision not to go back this year I knew it was the right decision as soon as it was made.  There was just too  much going on to make it a relaxing trip.  It would have been hurried and stressful. Staying here in California was the right thing to do.

It was fairly quiet at work today, for the first day back after the holiday, largely because I suspect a lot of people are still out and won't be back until the seventh. The parking lots at the plant were about half full. Normally what happens at work is there is a hard ramp up into the second full week, then we hit our stride. I spent most of the day simply playing catch up from all the incidental things that happened while I was out on vacation. I'd say that, by the end of the day, I was fairly caught up.

Tomorrow I want to dedicate some time to getting organized for the coming year.  I have to figure out methods and processes to keep from getting overwhelmed and stumbling into that particular form of paralysis that comes about when you have so many things going in so many directions at once you don't know where to start.

Normally, when I get into December, things slow down enough to allow me to reflect on the year that has just passed, but I didn't have that option this year.  We sprinted right up to the Christmas holiday - and then we didn't so much stop sprinting as we simply collapsed from exhaustion.  So, that self-review process, which takes place in both the work environment and the personal environment, is going to have to take place here, in the beginning of January. 

I will certainly share the process and outcome of that analysis here - for your amusement and bemusement.  Tonight though, I think I am going to spend the rest of the evening reading. I bought a magazine, on writing, a few months ago and I've been carrying it around with me ever since.  I want to sit down and leisurely read it, to see what information I can glean from it, to see what tips and tricks I can learn - but it seems that I have never had the opportunity to truly focus on the magazine for the last couple of months.  I've looked at, I've set it by the chair, I've set it by the bed, I've carried it back and forth from work, but I've simply never had the window to read it.  Well, tonight, I read.

Hickory Pit - Christmas Pig

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Gingerbread House - Cache Creek Casino

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2013 Resolutions - Mind, Body, Spirit - Always Try

New Years Resolutions:

I have the general framework for my 2013 resolutions.  I am going to make 2013 a year of balance, where I focus on the three major aspects of life - mind, body, and spirit. I am going to make it a point, each day, for the next 365 days, to do something each day to enrich my mind, my body, and my soul.

There are a variety of ways I plan on doing this:

Mind - in terms of the mind, I want to alter the diet of information that flows into my mind. That is going to mean reading and writing more purposefully and more deeply. That is going to mean being more deliberate about the media I consume, how I consume it, when I consume it.  That is going to mean trying to engage my mind more by playing challenging games, doing challenging puzzles, and staying focused on them.

Body - in terms of the body, I want to be more conscious of my diet and more purposeful in exercising, but at the same time, be gentler with myself as well - make sure I am getting enough sleep, make sure I am getting enough quiet time, make sure I am getting enough relaxation.  It is going to mean eating more purposefully as well - both in content and quantity.

Spirit - it terms of the spirit, I am going to spend a little bit of time each day in meditation, and dedicate a little portion of each day to prayer.  I am going to incorporate spirit in more of my daily considerations and activities, and simply try to move through the world with a more spiritual focus.

All of these can and will be intermingled - some of them go very naturally together.  For example, I may focus more on Tai Chi practices, since that is an excellent mingled of all three.  I can learn more (mind) about spiritual subjects (spirit).  There is a lot of opportunity for cross pollination in these three areas.

I think what it comes down to in the new year is the more deliberate pursuit of balance in my life, all across the board.  It will be challenging of course, because there are always outside pressures that are trying to push us off balance and sometimes they can be almost overwhelming - but the art of life lies in the trying.  We accept that we will not always succeed.  We simply focus on always trying.  I kind of like that as the mantra for the coming year.  "Always Try".

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Also, since one of the things I truly love doing is watching movies, I am going to keep a yearly count of all the movies I watch from beginning to end, to look back at the end of the year at what I watched and when.  I've already started the year by watching two movies that I enjoyed - one new and one slightly older.  I went out today with Tony and Tyrone and we saw "Les Miserables".  It was an enjoyable depiction of the play and within it the performance by Samantha Barks stood out.  Then, I came home and as I moved through the afternoon I watched the very excellent Prometheus. A good start to the year, movie wise.

Movie #1: Les Miserables & Movie #2 Prometheus