Brown Dirt and Tons of Stuff

Whew.

It has been a busy week.

We've been cleaning over at Bob's house for the last two days.  We have made a lot of headway. I imagine the house hasn't been thoroughly cleaned for several years at least.  At one point I found a box of mail from 2003, so it probably wasn't thoroughly cleaned since then.  We've got enough junk to fill a 20 yard dumpster, which we're going to order today.

In the last two days we've hit the major junk filed areas - the atrium, the kitchen/dining room, and the living room.  Stripped them all the way down, threw out a ton of stuff, mopped some very brown floors, cleaned some furniture.  Today's plan is to finish up the kitchen and start working down the hall toward the bedrooms.

Meanwhile, in the work environment I've got a project that I am going to have to delay again - we just can't get it to work, it's one step forward and one step back.  Every time we get something resolved, we run into another problem, like peeling back the layers of the onion.  So, as I go through the day cleaning at Bob's, I am going to be cutting back and forth to work to see if I can kick this project into higher gear.

One of the frustrating things about the project is, due to the way the bureaucracies of both companies work, it has been virtually impossible to get all the players on the phone at the same time.  Really, I suspect we could resolve it if we could just get everyone to sit together on the phone and go through it step by step in real-time, but everyone is so overwhelmed with other work project we just can't seem to make that happen.

I'm pretty badly frustrated about it and it's causing me a lot of stress, which is layering on top of the other stress, so I am cranked pretty high right now.  But, I know the secret to getting through it is to just keep the head down and work through it, as painful as it is.  One of my frustrations is that some of the resources (people) involved seem to bump into a problem and then just stop and wander off and do something else.  I always hate slamming people at work, but I am reaching for the big hammer.

Meanwhile, I just keep reminding myself to breathe.  Simply breathe.  Head down, keep moving forward.

Outside of that, things really aren't going to bad.  It has been nice doing to physical labor over at Bob's place, so that has been enjoyable, though I swear I've inhaled a ton of dust bunnies and spider-webs.  I've got a quick work related meeting shortly, then I am going to go over and dive back into the work at Bob's.  I'll take my work computer with me so I can see if I can kick the project forward at the same time.

Here I An Still

So, tonight after work I turned off the TV, set a time, and dedicated an hour to reading.  I finished up a poetry book by Mary Oliver (who I always get confused with Jane Olivor) and then read a couple of pages in Josemaria Escriva's book "The Way".  For those who aren't familiar with him he was the founder of the Catholic Order of Opus Dei.  Both reads really helped me find the still point of the night. 

Today was a "come to Jesus" meeting at work, which was part of my stress load.  In our last block release I had two projects that I delayed because they were not ready for release. In my imagination I conjured a lot of sturm und drang for the meeting.  In fact though, it went very smoothly. I explained why I delayed the projects, the reasons for the delay, and the response from leadership was "okay, that makes sense".  I've got a good imagination and sometimes it gets away from me imagining negative scenarios. It is a trait I am aware of and that I try to counter with limited measures of success.

So, now that we are through the block release we just have to close on these two projects and then we can pivot over to the July block release.  I am sitting much better for the July block as the lead time is wider.  The last release had a very tight lead time - we know better, but periodically we can't avoid it and we suffer because of it.  Hopefully, there will be less suffering in this next block release.  Though, if you go back through this blog and read entries from years ago you'll find very similar entries.  It is a function of being a project management that you're always locked in battle with the inherent conflicts between resources and schedule.

Other than that, it was a nice day.  We've got a bit of rain coming in, but the afternoon was very pleasant, the bird tribe was very entertaining, and the day had it's bright spots.  Tonight is the latest episode of "The Expanse" so I am looking forward to watching it on DVR tomorrow.  I will probably save it for tomorrow night and then do my usual routine, which is to order pizza and enjoy the show.  Also, exciting of exciting - Archer comes back!  In you are not an Archer fan, or if you've never seen the show before, it comes with a high recommendation from me

On that note, I am going to wrap it up and call it a night.

On Friday, I Shake It Off

Well, that was a pair of days.  Work is very chaotic and high volume at this point and it is taking a toll.  The last pair of evenings I did get some time to relax and unwind, but as of this morning it wasn't enough. I had a sleepless night with an interruption that made me very cranky.  When my alarm woke me this morning I had to hit the snooze button and get some more sleep.  It helped, but not a lot.

Additionally, I've had some entertaining interruptions the last two days layered on top of the work load.  My friend Tyrone had his new motorcycle stolen from in front of his apartment three days ago (on Wednesday).  Fortunately the police recovered it a few blocks away - because the thieves who stole it crashed it and was trying to fix it on the side of the road. 

As they were trying to fix it, they broke into a car on the side of the street to see if they could get some tools.  The owners of the car heard the commotion and called the police.  The thieves got away, but not before the daughter of the homeowner shot some video of them.  Now, most likely, they won't be caught - but the odds are good the police will be able to pull a case together if they can identify the suspects.

So, I've given Tyrone a ride home from work the last two days since he is without transportation.  I'll probably pick him up again today, but next week he's going to have figure out another solution.  It's about a two hour trip to pick him up and take him home and then make it back to my home and that is a big chunk of the day.  My plan today is to browbeat into spending some money and renting a car.

I often joke with people that MY life is pretty straightforward and drama free.  What stress and drama I have tends to come from the stress and drama in the people around me spilling over into my world. I'm a pretty resilient person and I see my friends sometimes struggle with rolling with the punches of life.

Here is the way I look at it in a nutshell.  Life is a rough and tumble game. You're going to get knocked down. You're going to get battered.  You're going to pick up some bruises and scars along the way.  The trick is to understand that it's not personal. It's just life.  Shake it off and get back into the game.

So, with that little pep talk for myself, today I am going to shake it up and get back in the game.

Simon and Garfunkel - The Boxer

Monday Was A Moving Day

Today was our move day at work. It went pretty smoothly. I got in at about 6:30 AM, did a final sweep of the area and made sure that everything was boxed up, and coordinated with one of the service desk people. Waiting for the movers to arrive I weaved in and out of a couple of teleconferences.

Once the movers arrived it took them maybe 20 or 30 minutes to clear the area out, to get it all loaded up on trucks. I took an early lunch then came back did a final sweep of the work area and then slipped into the series of afternoon meetings. Once I wrapped them up I went over to a new area where people were already starting to settle in and checked on a pair of our people who were there. From there I headed home.

It's a hot day here in California, and it's only going to get hotter over the next couple of days. So, because of that, I am going to look forward to some quiet evenings. I will see how good the air conditioner does at holding off the heat. It did a fairly decent job today but as the building around me stores more and more solar energy I suspect that the end of the heat wave it will be touch and go.

I may drag the mattress out into the living room and sleep out here where I can be a little closer to the air conditioner. I don't do that often but every now and then it has to be done. This evening, after dinner, I took a long hot soaking bath. It may seem strange to take a hot bath on a hot day but I needed it. Moving is a stressful business and even though ours went smooth there was still a good deal of residual stress and a minor emergency or two. But, all in all, I have to say it was a good day.

Any Day - Today

It was a good day at the office.  Busy, long, but productive.  I made some real headway and I am looking forward to making some more headway tomorrow.  This is my five work day week and I'll suffer a bit tomorrow - I think I was close to having worked 48 hours in four days, so tomorrow's three meetings is about all they are going to get out of me by the end of the day.  I had a meeting with one of the system engineers who pushed a little hard to do some expectation setting, since I thing we were off track with each other.   I always hate doing that - basically the baseball equivalent of brushing a batter back, but there are times it has to be done.

Our company has a group that provides into technology services and they are, essentially, a captive vendor that we have to use for most projects.  The problem is, like all captive vendors, they have no financial incentives to provide good customer service.  As a result, they can be pushy and arrogant.  That is not necessarily a reflection of the individuals - but rather a reflection of the culture that has grown up there. Meetings with them can be tough because they tend to be all about what they want, not what the customer wants.  Since I sit close to the customer (metaphorically), I have, over the years, been forced to give them a brush back a time or two or more.  I always dislike doing it - but I have learned that if I don't do it, I will get eaten alive.  But, even with that, it was a good day.

On the personal level I had a wonderful email from TR yesterday and enjoyed writing back to her today.  Her journey continues and I love and support her on it, though are days when my heart yearns. I am home now, for the evening, settling in with the plan to watch a spot of TV, then do some reading into the night.  I was watching Craig Ferguson tonight as I ate dinner and the actress Alice Eve referenced a truly great George Harrison song - Any Road.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mePp1l299EE

When The Rain Falls

It is a beautiful afternoon here in California.  As you may know, if you watch the news or the weather channel, we are sliding into a pretty wicked drought here.  Fortunately, right now, we've got a very nice Pacific rain storm pouring down upon us.  It won't be enough to break the drought, but every inch of rain is going to help and they are predicting that we are going to get an inch or more out of this one and there is another right behind it carrying the same promise.

I've been working a lot this week - a pair of 12 hour days in row and then 10 hours today, with the possibility of another 2 hours this evening.  I am going to meet Tony for dinner at Denny's down the street, mostly to see how his world is treating him as he enters what is potentially the end of days for his employment with the City of San Jose.  I've been working on my big project and I bulled my way through a big hurdle this week, moving the customers that much closer to a concept of operations, which is the document that cascades into all the other documents.

I had a rough day yesterday, just a lot of stress in the chaos of work, unintentionally aggravated by one of my co-workers who seems to have developed a real affinity for bureaucracy and one of the things that can get under my skin pretty quick is our pointless love of paperwork.  It led to a testy exchange - and I carried that into the evening.  I was thinking about it as I feel asleep, so I tossed and turned off and on for about two hours, which means I was up late.  I did come to a solution, at least one that will satisfy me, and so I am going to address that tomorrow.

Then, in the evening, I got a wonderful email from TR, which I absolutely devoured.  Following that, I called my folks in Winner and talked with them for over an hour.  Well, mostly they talked and I listened.  It was a pleasant conversation, but I have to say - that whole growing old thing is not for the faint of heart.  When I finally climbed into bed I read for a while and then slipped into a pattern of reading, trying to sleep, reading, trying to sleep until eventually I fell off.  Morning came a little too soon and that is what carried me into the day.  But, tonight, outside, the rain is falling and it is beautiful

The Gift of Dreams

Let me start with the beginning.  Last night when I slept, I dreamed.  The subconscious is a wonderful place, it does all sorts of amazing things, and one of the things it does very well, at least in my case, in fuel my dreams.  Last night, it decided to fuel up my stress/anxiety dreams and then add a twist. I had a set of anxiety dreams that were three parts bad and one part good.

Part One:  I dream I am at a restaurant trying to get a sandwich for lunch and they keep messing up my order.  The first time,, they bring me the wrong sandwich.  I send it back.  The second time, they bring me the wrong sandwich.  I send it back.  The third time they bring me a sandwich - and I can't even say that it is the wrong sandwich because it looks like it has been stepped on.  I completely lose my temper, starting swearing and yelling and throw the sandwich into the kitchen.  They kick me out.

Part Two:  Fuming mad, I go outside to discover someone has stolen my car.  (In the dream, it wasn't my current car, but rather the old Cadillac I loved so much.)  I rant and rave about that.  Frustrated, I walk over to El Camino Real to catch the bus home.

Part Three:  The bus shows up.  Only it isn't a VTA bus, it is a bus like you would see in third world country, an old, beat up, multicolored school bus.  It is crammed full of people.  People inside.  People on top. People outside.  There is no room for me.  The second bus, same story.  This third bus...same story.  Angry and frustrated I start the walk home.

Part Four:  It is about a six mile walk home.  When I get within the last mile I turn down a street that will shave some of the distance off.  I get almost to the end of the street and it is all cut off by a ten foot tall chain link fence topped with razor wire.  I seethe. I turn around to retrace my steps.  In one of the nearby buildings, a man waves me over. I walk over, expecting it to be a security guard about to tell me to get off their property. Instead, he holds the door open and says "We've been waiting for you.  Your suite is ready." He escorts me to the elevator.  I am puzzled, but heck, it is a dream so I go with it.  I ride the elevator up.  The door opens into a luxurious suite with a giant jacuzzi tub.  A room service cart covered in delicacies waits nearby. And there, in the jacuzzi tub - the beautiful actress Milla Jovovich!

The subconscious is an amazing place. It took me through a journey of my stress - and then provided me with stress release!  LOL - outside of the sheer amusement factor of the dream, it was essentially a map of my stress and then a reminder of what I needed to do to recover from it - so the plan this weekend is a nice and relaxing weekend. I won't get the spa with Milla, but I do get the idea.

Three Days and Ready

I am now ready to relocate to SD on three days notice.  It will take a day to prep, close, and pack. It will take two days to drive there.  So, as far as semi-rapid deployments go, I am set.  Since I am going to drive I can travel heavy and the heaviest item in my plan is my workstation - a bracket, two monitors, keyboard, mouse, computer, power supply.  Other than that I will travel light.

I've been making the psychological adjustment necessary for the journey and I've got myself in the right space for it as well.  The main thing I find myself struggling with is reacting to scenarios that have yet to become real.  That is always a recipe for stress. I am as flexible and prepared as I can be for the immediate known future is going to present.  Life always unfolds unexpectedly.

Outside of that, it has been a pretty good weekend.  I went out and saw the new movie, "Gravity". I highly recommend it.  A great performance by Sandra Bullock and some stunning visuals. Definitely see it on a big screen and definitely see it in 3D.  I am looking forward to some of the movies that are slated for fall release, LOL, though if I am in South Dakota it may be a while before I finally get to  see them.

 

 My evening has been a simple fish dinner and two episodes of the new show "The Black List" with James Spader.  I definitely like it.  Spader is an excellent answer and I love to watch him work.  I also have to admit I have a thing for characters like Spader's and to see an actor like Spader in that role is just excellent.

Starting A Reflective Day

Just a quick morning entry as I am getting ready to go to work.  Today is the day that I expect to here from my step-father on the scheduling for his hip surgery.  Based on that, I will make my plans accordingly.  My gut is tight and my inner stress level is pretty high. I am going to try to keep a tight focus and move as smoothly through the day as I can. I'll try my best to be authentically present through the day.  My thoughts are also on T.R. who has carried a lot through the last years.  It is going to be a reflective day.

My Monkey Mind Chimes In

I was very cranky when I woke up this morning. I slept well enough, but my monkey mind was spinning about work almost immediately upon waking.  It got a pretty solid grip and me and just did not want to let go, complaining about all of the small injustices and incompetences that have plagued us for the last several years, then layering on top of it the general sense of pointlessness that has been a hallmark of that time as well.

For me, the last several years truly emphasize the importance of good senior leadership. We’ve been like a rudderless ship without it. We’re supposed to be notified of our reorganization sometime this month. I hope it is sooner rather then later and I hope it is in a good direction.  I am not sure how much longer I am willing or able to endure the incompetence. Today was a very rough day in that aspect.  As I drove in my brain kept repeatedly telling me “Don’t do it! Turn around! Go home! Don’t make that turn! Drive right on by! Don’t open the door! Turn around and walk out.”  It was a pretty constant chatter until I reached my seat.

The chatter has let up  a little, but it was rough on that commute.  We’ll see how the day goes. Hopefully, it will shape up and I’ll be able to pull something productive out of the day. Then again, maybe it will be a wasted day. (That was my monkey mind, chiming in with it’s two cents right there.)

Try Not To Get The Two Tangled Up

It's an easy start to my Friday morning.  It is my day off, so I have the very bare bones of a plan for today.  I am going to meet Tony for breakfast over at Goodies II, then I may circle back home and do some internal cleaning.  I've been feeling an urge to clean my apartment, so today may be that day.  My living room carpet needs to be vacuumed, so I may tackle that today. I may also slip out and catch a movie and practice a spot of pool.  I feel like I am no more than a few hours away from a real breakthrough in my pool game.

Last night, as I lay asleep, I dreamed I was in a tropical forest, near a river, in a village and there was a tremendous rainstorm with the threat of a flood.  The water was pouring down the steep hills in powerful rivulets and the people of the town were trying to find their way to safer ground.  There was a sense of urgency, but not panic. One of the villagers had a jeep that got stuck in the mud on a hillside and he had to abandon it.  As we were walking along the bank of the river, the jeep went floating by.

I woke with the certainty that the jeep was a metaphor for work. It seems like we always have this flood of work coming at us, threatening to overwhelm us.  The movement toward safety is what I need to be careful that I always do, I need to keep my stress guards up.  I think it is probably true with any job, but there are times when your work threatens to swallow you whole and the job itself gains a significance or an importance that it should not have.  In those moments you have to take a deep breath, step back and realize that it is your life that matters, not your job.  Try not to get the two tangled up.

The Breach

I left work today about 3:30 PM.  I was pretty much done. I didn't sleep well last night - I woke up about 2:30 AM with a brain full of stuff, stayed up for an hour, then tossed and turned for another hour before I finally gave up and got up. I headed into work early, spent a few hours preparing for a UAT kick-off meeting (once again, I am pulling an entire complex UAT out of thin air "just in time"). The meeting went well - and the rest of that day was back to back meetings until about 2:30.  By the time I got home I was fried. I laid down to try and take a nap, but I couldn't drop off.  Though I was tired, I was still too wired to drop off. I got up, spent an hour talking to my nephew Tom on the phone, then had a nice dinner of cream of mushroom soup and home made buffalo wings.  By the time I finished dinner I was feeling human again, so I answered some email off my Blackberry and watched part of "A Knights Tale" with the late and very talent Heath Ledger. In a short while I am going to crawl into bed with my new book and get a good nights sleep, then hurl back into the breach again tomorrow.

My day was influenced by the twin pillars of stress in my immediate world - family and work.  So, all in all, it was a stressful day that was only minimally productive.  However, I realized that and tonight I spent fifteen or so minutes simply breathing, simply meditating and it has helped to reset me for the evening at least.

My work pillar of stress was invoked when we discovered a problem in the design of one of the components of the project. Basically, we had designed around the vendor software doing X, we had confirmed with the vendor that the software did X, and then were we actually got into test - we discovered that it was doing Y and that it couldn't do X.  It was quite irritating.  The vendor is working at finding a way around the problem with a redesign and we're meeting regarding it again tomorrow.

My family pillar was touched by family being family.  We are nothing if not a stubborn lot and I think that part of the way for all members of my family to lower their stress levels - and mine - is for them to simply take a deep breath, find the moment, and life their lives.  I am profoundly influenced by the quote from John-Roger that I am fond of, where he basically says:  "We must allow people the dignity of their journey".  It is a simple saying, but it is a difficult thing to do.

Free will means that we all have the freedom to make choices.  I think it is important that we allow people the freedom of their own choices, even when we disagree with them, even when we would make different choices, even when we are convinced they are making the wrong choices, or, that more common item - where we think we would make better choices then they would.  Or when we think that we are making a better choice then they are.

Free will is an interesting thing. It allows us to shape the universe itself with our choices.  But, at the same time, it allows us to shape the universe itself with our choices. I think if we want our free will to be treated with dignity and respect, even by people who disagree with the choices we make - then we need to make sure we extend that same courtesy to other people - and I think that is the core of what John-Roger is getting at. 

I will have to contemplate that some more as I wander off to sleep tonight. My plan tonight is a call with T.R. and then to curl up with "The King of Thorns".  It has been any enjoyable set of books - the second one is a little too non-linear in my book, but not enough that it is going to stop me from reading it and looking forward to the third book in the series that comes out this summer.

And oh, I have some credits racked up in my Audible account, so I think I may drift over there tomorrow and see if I can get a book or two.  I sure have an ongoing and passionate love affair with reading, one that has been with me all my life and will doubtless stay with me for the rest of it.

One Black Dream, One Light Dream

Last night, I dreamt a black dream, quite literally.

In the dream I was driving through a strange city in my Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera (I haven’t had the car in years).  I was in a part of the town where they had the road torn up for repair.  I had to weave my way through various obstacles and then cross a short section of road that was completely torn up. I could see it was muddy, but I figured with enough momentum I didn’t have to worry about it.  I started across…

Immediately upon crossing onto the mud I realized it was far more treacherous than I imagined.  The car skittered across the top of the mud and almost made it - but, just as the nose of the car reached the far side, the rear end of the car started precipitously dropping and in a matter of moments the entire car was sliding backwards and down.  A sea of blackness and cold swallowed the entire car. I had a split-second to get out, which I did.  I was instantly engulfed in the cold black mud.

I knew that I was very close to drowning and I fought the rising panic. I knew that I was literally seconds away from death.  But, I also knew that in order to survive I had to very slowly and very carefully “swim” my way to the surface of the liquid mud, which I did successfully.

I woke from the dream thinking I haven’t had a dream that as clearly symbolized the level of general stress I have been under in a long time - drowning in the cold and black.

Then, interestingly, when I went back to sleep I followed that dream with a cool dream.  In the second dream, I was in a movie theatre (like the Centuries in San Jose), sitting there watching a double feature.  There were some people sitting around me, familiar strangers, who were sharing a big bag of red licorice whips. It was a pleasant experience.  

After the movie ended, I walked out and then walked down the rain slick streets, shiny and beautiful at night, to my car (my current car) which was parked by a restaurant, like an old Bakers Square.  I went inside to get a dinner of comfort food and I knew that I was going to meet friends there, though they had not yet appeared.  It was a perfect California winters evening.

Last Night I Wrestled With Maya

I needed to work on my elasticity today, so I thought I would take a couple of minutes between working on regression testing and attending a meeting to write an entry for my blog.  It’s been a pretty ordinary morning here at the office. Once every three weeks a vendor releases upgrades to their software so we run through a fast cycle of regression testing to make sure that all of the core functionality still works as intended. My portion of that testing passed with flying colors this morning, so it was time consuming but fruitful.

Last night was not a good night for sleep. I spent most of the evening in family calls and they were not the most fruitful. One of the things that happens to people, as they go through any sort of crisis, the crisis allows our better angels to rise up.  Then, Maya begins to rise up and counter whatever action they took or planned to take.  I know from the years of dealing with Maya in my lifetime that Maya is unrelenting and unforgiving and, like water, seeks every crack and crevasse, worms its way in and cracks things open through its relentless pressure.

As the people around us succumb to Maya, then the pressure on us becomes greater and greater as well.  The people around us are one of the entry points for Maya in our lives. It can certainly be a struggle to not allow that to happen.  Recognizing Maya for what it is remains a huge part of that journey.  Recognizing Maya does not free us from reacting or acting because of it, but the awareness gives us the glimmer of hope.

On the wall next to my desk I have a white 3x5 note card.  On it is written one of the things I learned in “The Buddha Walks Into A Bar”.

“May all beings enjoy happiness and be free from suffering.”

*Maya - in the zen tradition, maya denotes that it is not a form of self-deception to acknowledge the physical world as real, however, the deception occurs when one assumes the physical world to be the only permanent reality.”

http://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Maya#Maya_in_Buddhism

I Am Human and Attached

I watched the season finales of Dexter and Homeland today. Both of them are awesome television - it is pretty amazing what can be done with the medium these days.  However, I always say that with the immediate caveat of - whatever you like on TV, rest assured that for someone else it's the stupidest thing they've ever seen.  For what it is worth though, for my money, Dexter and Homeland are as good as it gets though.

It was  typical Monday at work - I managed to get some things accomplished and then lost the bubble of the day to unfolding events.  One of the skill-sets I possess is complex data retrieval and analysis for legal investigations.  It is an interesting skill set and I enjoy the investigative aspect of it.  I do find it frustrating that it is always "oh my god, we need to know the answer to this right away" - so, it is complex requests on short lead time. I lost a good part of the day to that sort of event today.

Dinner was a simple cheeseburger and onion rings, in large part because I was too lazy to cook when I got home tonight.  Then, I ended up spending most of the evening on family phone calls.  Two under my belt, my nephew in the hospital and my step-dad out at the ranch. I am going to try one more in a couple of minutes - my mom was napping when my step-dad called earlier, so I promised to try and call back a little later.

My nephew is starting the slow approach to the runway to get out of the hospital and the question is rising up where he is going to land as an initial destination.  That is a discussion that has the chance to become heated, in part because, like most family things, it is one thing layered on top of many layers of other things. That is going to make some stressful days ahead, so I am going to have to practice compassion for all beings. I have to keep practicing it because I am definitely not good at it.  I am human and attached.

Monday's Struggle

The day was mostly a struggle.  I slammed into the wall of frustration when I hit the office - there are just far too many moving parts and too may parts moving in chaotic cycles, to have any level of confidence beyond maybe the eighty percent level. I sure don't like being that frustrated. I did manage to make a few small advances during the day, but all in all if feels like I ended up further and further behind. It's a very difficult environment to be working in and I know I am not the only one who feels that way, but, since the root of our problems is our director - there doesn't seem to be much we can do about it.  Very, very frustrating.

A Little Bit Older and Deeper In Debt

Another 12 hour day under the belt.  (A little bit older and deeper in debt...).

Today's insight - perspective matters.

Work was the usual madness associated with this project.  I was frustrated at one point in the morning, but once that discussion was over I calmed down.  This project remains the perfect example of why leadership matters - good leaders made difficult circumstances better. Bad leaders make it worse.

I've got my feet up and I am going to wander off to bed to read shortly, but for now I am watching the latest episode of Castle and unwinding.

A Glass, Full

The day was one long meeting or nine long meetings all strung together.  Either way, the end result was the same.  Though it was a smooth start to morning, including time with T.R., the first meeting threw me headlong into a foul mood. I don't mind consulting on other parts of the project, but I dislike it when people attempt to off load their work on me, especially since I have a full project load myself. 

There are two analysts assigned to developing some custom reporting - the only challenge for them is neither of them has the depth of knowledge to design the reports they need to design.  Like everyone else, they're under heavy pressure from upper management - so, in the meeting today, they attempted to foist the detail work off on me. 

Now, under normal circumstances I am always glad to help - but these are not normal circumstances, so I refused to commit to the task unless management decides to assign it to me.  If I am a glass of water, then I am a very full glass of water - we can always pour more water in, but some of it is going to splash out. 

So, after that meeting put me in a foul mood I struggled through the morning.  At lunch, I decided to log out, commute home, take a nap, and try and reset the day. It worked and I was able to salvage both mood and productive out of the afternoon.  Then, a simple dinner (grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches), and an easy slide into the evening.  In a short while I am going to slip into bed and read a few chapters in "The Cloud Atlas".

Work, Cloud Cuckoo Land, and The Cloud Atlas

It was a long day at the office, with some pretty serious stress peaks in the early morning. The thing that sent my levels climbing was being pulled into a schedule meeting.  In an project, managing a schedule is a full time job. To that end, we have a master scheduler.

The problem with our current project is...he is not very good. In my current role, on this project, I do not have schedule control responsibilities (though, I have been pulled in a couple of times to write part of the schedule, but that is another stress point). Because our scheduler is not very good, he has to have everyone present in the meeting, for when he runs into things about the schedule he doesn't understand - which is all the time. Prior to departing for vacation my boss had provided schedule updates and estimates for the two meetings I got called into today.

So, basically, all I did was say "as was provided". A pretty much pointless waste of two hours.  The rest of the day though, I plowed through writing a new set of requirements.  Here is the challenge that I ran into - I have a portion of the project that is current in the test cycle - and yet, at the end of last week they added what translated to 150+ new line items for the requirements document.  Too crazy.

I would give you a nice entry about my personal life but I didn't have one today.  I worked about eleven hours, came home, ate a simple dinner, took a short nap, then got up and watched the presidential debate, while answering the occasional email on my corporate Blackberry. I do have one bit of feedback - I think presidential candidates should be wired with Tasers and when they fail to answer the question asked, they should be shocked.  In about three minutes both of the candidates would have been laying on the floor, twitching. A pure evening in Cloud Cuckoo Land. Fortunately, I plan on recapturing some good hours this evening by reading "The Cloud Atlas", which I started on Sunday and I am already enjoying.