Well, I am sliding into the last hour of a fairly typical working Monday and I thought I would pause for a few minutes and send a quick entry off. The day was the usual Chaos-On-A-Monday that we know so well, combined with the semi-usual Rod-Has-Slammed-Into-The-Wall-Monday. In short, an ordinary day.
I read a good quote this morning that I shared with my team members and I thought I would share it here as well.
“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is mere tenacity. The fears are paper tigers.” - Amelia Earhart
I thought that was an interesting quote and since I am locked in battle with a few of my own paper tigers. I’m really engaged in an internal wrestling match with the challenge of aging parents and the potential impacts on my life. I find myself swinging back in forth wildly, like a pendulum gone mad. One day I am in this position, the next day I am in another position and then on the third days - well - who knows where the heck I’ve landed.
Sometimes that pendulum is even swinging at a much faster pace, an hourly pace, a minute by minute pace. I am trying to decide what the right thing to do is, but I am also trying to figure out, I think, who defines what the right thing is. It’s never easy. There are a lot of inner complexities involved.
Then I simply remind myself - trust the universe, stay true to yourself, and everything will work out well. I wonder sometimes is I am too attached to my current job, too attached to my current life - even though, at times, I find both that job and that life to be less then what I would like to have. In all cases I know that it is about the decisions I make, but that doesn’t make those decisions any easier to make, nor does it make the answers to those questions any clearer.
So there I sit today, on the pendulum, swinging back and forth.