The Return to Ambivalence

I’ve spent the last ten days on vacation. It was an extended trip back to South Dakota to visit family. Like many other things this year, it was a hugely ambivalent vacation. There is too much chaos here at work, so I was not able to leave cleanly.  Though I managed to work only a few hours while on vacation, I deeply resented that I had to work at all.  Those few hours did not reflect the time my job conspired to ruin my vacation by being on my mind, at greater and lesser levels, through each day.  Though I’ve had working vacations before, I can’t think of a prior one that was as pointless at this one.  So, I am back in California, I am back at work, and I still remain hugely ambivalent.