Thursday, April 11, 2013

A Winters Day

It was a very quiet day here at the ranch. This was mostly due to the fact that we're snowed in. I am supposed to head back to California on Saturday, so tomorrow will, most likely, be the the make or break day, at least for a Saturday departure.  I did build Sunday into my schedule as a slip day and I may have to use it. Fortunately I have the vacation available if I need to spill.  With weather, especially South Dakota weather, unpredictable is the name of the game.

So, most of the day was spent in lazy pursuits, with an interval for napping, and then another spate of lazy pursuits.  Tonight, I am planning on going to bed after Archer's season finale and reading my way deeply into "The Lies of Locke Lamorra". I have enjoyed the visit, but I am anxious to get back to my own bed, in my own apartment.  There is always something about curling up in your own bed at the end of a long vacation that makes it all worth while.  I wish I'd hit better weather this trip, I would have liked to have gotten out and done some more visiting.  I brought my camera with me and other then the handful of pictures I've shared, I really haven't used it much at all.  There are limits of what you can take in a snow storm without freezing your camera.

The whole vacation has been an exercise in zen releasing. I am in an interesting position. My nephew has his illness, about which I can do nothing except offer my best advice in a very difficult circumstance.  There is a larger lesson there about the importance of building relationships and perhaps I will reflect upon that later, but it will be a difficult thing to do without putting on my judgement pants, which I always find uncomfortable.  Then, there are the additional issues associated to my aging parents, about which I can do next to nothing except offer my best advice.

I could relocate to help them, but they are not yet at that point where it is necessary. They enjoy my company of course, but largely as a visit, and as a visit it must have an end. Though they are both getting older and frailer, with all of the issue associated with aging, they still remain capable of making their own decisions.  Whether or not they make good decisions is one of those things that would, again, require me to put on my judgement pants.  Oh, how easy life would be if we could just make all the decisions for all the other people.  But, it doesn't work that way.  As John-Rogers says, we must allow other people the dignity of their own journey.  That is not always an easy thing.

No comments: