Friday, January 23, 2009

Waking Cranky

I woke up this morning and I was muddled. My monkey mind was spinning a dozen thoughts around and once and I was on the verge of being cranky - I slipped into crankiness at a few points as I went through the morning. I don't think there was any real justification for it, it just was.

There were specific triggers, but they were incidental things - I watched myself as I bumped into them and felt the crankiness spinning up. I focused and pushed my way through it. As I hit each trigger event I stopped, I took a deep breath, and I made it a point to DO something about it. It did not necessarily relieve the crankiness, but it did make the apparent point of the crankiness pointless.

There was a redemptive moment, a phone call, a voice mail, an image that cascaded into other images and served in part to reset the morning. But, the morning has continued at the verge of being a cranky day. It is the crankiness of things undone that need to be done. It is the crankiness of the unsettled things in life. As each arises, they are sorted into those that can be done and those that cannot be done at this time (this space, this place, this influence).

I am going to lunch shortly, the Grand Indian Buffet, and I hope the crankiness falls aside in the comfort of friends and good food and the cleansing wash of the California rain.

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