Thursday, June 6, 2013

Quietly Overwhelming

Today is one of those days that has, so far, been quietly overwhelming.   My mother has landed back in the hospital as they are attempting to get a better balance on her pain medications and hopefully, help in the transition into an assisted living environment. So, this morning, I called and spoke with my sister for a while, and we went over the details, options, feelings, philosophies and emotions. One of the challenges that I find with my family is there seems to be solid opposition to discussing things rationally before they happen.  Consequently, I often find myself having to go through the associated emotional ride, again, that I had already been on. Combine that with my natural urge to cut to the chase on most things and those extended conversations can be a vexation.

At work today the day is small intervals between a solid line of meetings.  This is one of those intervals.  It will settle out a bit in the afternoon, but by that time I expect to be totally fried, mentally.  Today is one of those days where what I am doing is simply trying to open my mind and let all the information flow into it.  I figure that I will sort it all out later, once it is in place! 

Fortunately, given the high meeting schedule I decided to work virtually today, so I am sitting in my home office, bathed in natural light, window open for fresh air, birds and street sounds outside, and just an overall,  comfortable, modern environment.  I do sometimes wonder how much of my struggles at work over the last couple of years is the result of working in a physical environment that is simply not good - old, dingy, poorly maintained, monochrome, and no sunlight. Maintaining a good mood in that environment is difficult at best.  So, let just call the day quietly overwhelms, meditate a bit, and then slide back into the fray.

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