Tuesday, October 9, 2012

An Apple A Day

It's an eight meeting today. Normally I would not have even bothered to come into the office today, since I'm basically spending the day pacing around and wearing my telephone headset. It all means that, at the end of the day, I'll be completely fried, especially since I threw myself into work at 5:30 AM.

I am sitting in a scheduling meeting today and, to tell the truth, it's a pure fantasy land meeting. But, it's a pleasant enough fantasy land, especially since I've started to us my Zen tricks to not care about the outcome. I just do the best I can and then leave the rest to the flying monkeys.

My monkey mind was pretty attached today, though the rapid succession of meetings kept me busy enough that it never really got away from me, except for a time or two. I walked and breathed and pulled myself back into the moment.  The scent of the apple pictured above was a great tool to pull me back into the moment, smelling slightly sweet and crisp.

When I go through an emotionally difficult time the tendency to second-guess myself runs wild. The thoughts of the day become "what if, what if, what if..." and they spin around and threaten to run out of control.  But, I replay all the conversations, then think about them, consider what is done and not done, said and unsaid, actions taken and actions not taken - and the weight of things usually becomes apparent, painful, but apparent.

Then of course, wrapped inside of it was a great little section from "The Bowl of Sagi":

October 7th
If is a very high stage on the path of love
When one really learns to love another
With a love that asks no return

A difficult thing indeed, but a thing that we can accomplish.

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