Thursday, October 4, 2012

I started the day with a 6:30 AM meeting, then commuted into work, then got a few productive hours working on one portion of the project under my belt before the the cycle of meetings started up. I did manage, during the whole of the day, to complete one thing - and this project is definitely moving forward one simple thing at a time.  I headed home about 4:00 PM, had a simple chicken and cole slaw dinner from JC's, then spent an hour or so on the phone with my mother.  It was, end to end, a full day and that is the kind of day I need sometimes, so I do not get sucked to deeply into my monkey mind.

I've got another meeting at 6:00 AM tomorrow (which is, technically, my off-Friday), then I will go out and get something for breakfast, and follow it up with some additional work. I don't really want to work this weekend, but I do need to, at least to keep the project moving forward. So, I will spend the days weaving in and out of personal things and work things, focusing on one thing at a time.  I am also going to spend some time this weekend in setting up the home office is in the spare bedroom.  I've been saying that for a couple of weeks now and I might actually get to it.

I generally don't do politics, as politics are their own circus, and I am having enough fun over here in my circus. I vote and I am active in the civic life, but I just don't talk about it that often.  Anyway, I saw this image while I was reading the news this afternoon on an aggregating site and it did draw a sudden laugh from me:

Evening looking at the image now, it brings a chuckle out of me.  Ah, the simple things in life that amuse me.

Today is Day Four in this particular portion of my personal journey and I kept finding myself reaching for my phone and then setting it down.  Space.  Breath. Thumb off the wounds.  See, all that studying of Zen pays off. I haven't got any particular insights yet, but I know the nature of insights are that they often take a while to arise.  When I think about it, my brain flies off in different directions and elaborate imaginary scenarios that have little or no bearing on reality.  Conversations that were never had.  Actions that were never taken. The brain playing out a thousand imaginary scenarios, each a distraction from being here, now.  When I catch that happen I think of Thich Nhat Thanh's admonition to - walk, breath, walk, breath - and I pull myself into the moment.

I wouldn't say that I was a fatalist.  I don't think that the future is fixed and predetermined, but I do think that the current of this thing we call life, I think those currents flow in a certain direction and down certain pathways. We happens inside that current is up to us, is influenced by the choices we make and fail to make, but one way or another life moves us through certain experiences at certain times in our lives. We can fight it, we can resist, we can race - but we are still carried by the same currents.  When it comes to the relationships among people, we make our choices, they make their choices, and if we are lucky, we meet in the middle for a while - it can be a long time or it can be a short time.  And I think in there is a simple insight about all relationships.  If you want to meet in the middle, both sides need to move in that direction.  Sometimes it works.  Sometimes it doesn't.  So ends Day Four.

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